soulsistrin

What are you supposed to do when carollers come to your house? Do you listen politely then thank them and close the door? Do you invite them in?

In Trinidad we don’t have carollers but a parang side will show up at your house and play. Parang is our local Christmas music, usually sung in Spanish, that involves not just singers but instruments (box bass, cuatro, maracas) so it’s loud and very festive. You could be quietly chilling at home and next thing you know a full blown performance is happening outside your window. The custom is to bring the music into the house. Once they finish you’re supposed to give them food and drinks (usually alcoholic). They lime for a while and then they’re off to the next house. Often the parang side is people you know, but sometimes you don’t. It’s a nice way to welcome people into your home during the Christmas season.

cajunmmb:

mylifemyhappy:

Anyone with an 8ish year old that would be interested in having an old fashion snail mail pen pal?

I think that this is such a wonderful idea. I wish that there were grown ups that wanted to do this also. I love getting mail.

I would hit me up

I’m never going to buy glasses in Trinidad again. I got my second pair of glasses from Zenni Optical, plus a pair of shades that also had prescription lens because why not. I’m so totally pleased with them it’s not even funny. When I think of how much my last pair of glasses from my opticina cost compared to these I wanna slap somebody. Never again.

I had half a twix on my nightstand and decided to eat it, not realising it had a few ants on it. Bit into it and got bit on the lip. I’m kind of interested to see how much this is gonna swell up.

I’m taking some time to get acquainted with our new camera. We got an entry level DSLR, a Nikon D3300. I say entry level because that’s how all the reviewers describe it. I don’t know much about cameras so I’ll take their word for it but it seems to have a lot of features to me. But I’ve been using a point and click so what do I know.

Anyway I figured since we’re taking it on vacation that maybe I should know my way around it. I’m one of those who reads the manual. Of everything. So I’m doing this today while I do laundry. 

I’d post some sample pics, but macro shots of my nasal spray and the condensation on my glass of pomegranate juice aren’t really all that compelling.

Every time I see another post about something else to do with Trump and the US government and I want to comment on it, I remind myself that my energy is better spent focusing on here. Because right now we have our own shit to worry about, Trinidad is in a fucking mess and getting worse by the day. I don’t have the energy to be concerned about both. Besides, I don’t know what to do about either. But I am here, so this is where my focus needs to be.

I made chicken enchiladas today and they are fucking amazing.

I mean I’m assuming. I’ve never had enchiladas before but this tastes great.

sweethoneysempai:

Guys, Direct Relief (directrelief.org) is one of the highest-rated charities with 99% of donated money going directly to their programs. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Aleppo is about to be completely destroyed. DO is assisting with the Syrian Refugee Crisis and can use all the help they can get. If you are in a position to donate, please do so.

Whether or not you can donate, please reblog.

I did a custom order for a client a while back. Long story short we arranged for them to pay the balance via bank deposit and have me mail the ring.

They’re dragging their feet on the payment. I let them know that Friday is the last day I can mail it or else it’s next year.

Before I would have been anxious about getting it out to them, but really it’s your Christmas present. I finished it weeks ago. I don’t get the lack of urgency on their part. People do this all the time. I’ll never understand.

I’m seriously jonesing for a cinnabon right now. Why are all their locations at least a half hour away from me? Dammit man.

thismightbemymonkey:

blondegirl-pinkbike:

new-boot-goofin:

cherryseltzer:

fancybidet:

yeezuss:

reblog with the age you turn in 2017

37

😀

35?

30. Sigh.

31

39

44

why does anyone on fb think I would want to watch their year in review video? mine bored me and it was about me.

Last night I was googling reasons your hair might change texture, because in the past 6-12 months mine has definitely been changing. The wiry curly patch at the crown of my head is gone. My hair actually now has the texture it used to have after I relaxed it. So anyway they gave various reasons (illness, hormones, natural side effect of aging) and then they said menopause. And I internally freaked out because I’m not really ready to face that yet. So I’m gonna go with just natural side effects of aging and be grateful that my hair has become more manageable and jah bless.

uglyassprettyboy:

th0t-p0cket:

what’s it called when you don’t wanna die but you wouldn’t mind it either

Saturday

This lady came up to my table today and really loved my jewelry. Then she mentioned to me that her husband texted her after she left the house to tell her he needed to buy Christmas presents for some of his managers (all women).

So I asked her what kind of budget she had in mind and she told me it was about the price of my pieces. So I suggested she take some pics and send them to him to see what he thought. She found that was a great idea and did just that. Then she told me she was going to have a look around while she awaited his response.

About a half hour later she reappeared and said, “Great let’s do this I have the thumbs up!” I think we both got super excited and she picked out FOUR of my most expensive pieces. I gift wrapped them all for her and after she paid, we both thanked each other profusely.

That was definitely the hi light of my day.

Trini KFC is fuckin drugs yo

I really dislike a hard sell approach. If I’m in a market and I’m approaching your table and you start trying to sell to me before I even see what you have I’ll get turned off. I don’t know if that just me, but I do not like feeling pressured. I never do that to my customers.

My girlfriend just left (it’s midnight) and as expected she spent most of the night talking about Otherfriend. After cooling off  and giving it some thought she realised she still wants to be with him, so I encouraged her to suck up her pride and reach out to him. He acted like an asshole yesterday but we all can be a bit of an asshole sometimes and people deserve a second chance. Forgiveness is something you have to do over and over again in relationships. So I hope they work it out. I’m tired and I have UpMarket to do in the morning (last one YAY!). Over and out.

Oh well my plans for a night alone were foiled. My girlfriend (the one who was dating our friend and they kinda broke up last night?) asked if she could come over and hang out. I really didn’t feel like I could say no under the circumstances.

I was going to have a self maintenance night. I already dyed and washed my hair but I guess I’m gonna have to postpone the rest. Oh well changing gears I guess.

Chris has his staff Christmas party tonight. I decided not to go. I really hate getting dressed up and he let me off the hook so it’s me and Netflix tonight. Yay!

My brother in law just told me that my niece, who looks white, defines herself as “white-blackish” which surprised and delighted me. He also says that she’s incredibly curious about Trinidad (her father is American but she lives with my sis and her husband who are both Trini) but refuses to say anything in a Trini accent because she says it sounds wrong. But it’s nice to know she’s at least conscious of her mixed heritage and embraces it, cause I have no idea if her family in Kentucky have ever addressed the topic with her. 

I seriously think my cable company is trying to get me to cancel it’s service.

Every show I’ve tried to watch today the channels keep freezing up on me. I’m on my third channel. Like fuck you Flow. I’m so over this shit.

I have not always been fond of being a 5′10″ woman with an Amazonian build, but the instances where it comes in handy is when I have to deal with men in public spaces.

When I was growing up, I learnt to model my body language on men. I learnt how to walk assertively, how to take up space, how to not give way when someone was in my path, even if it meant bumping shoulders with someone larger than myself. I learnt how to sit like a man in public spaces, spreading out my arms and legs to take up space and announce my presence. Even when I was lost or unsure of where I was going, I walked confidently, with purpose. I made sure never to look scared or vulnerable even when I was. I am known to shove an “accidental” elbow into the ribs of anyone who cannot respect my personal space. I also learnt how to set my face in a stone mask with a “don’t fuck with me” expression. I have used my loud, powerful voice to cuss men who harassed me. And I know I most likely appeared fearless, even when I was trembling with fear. My bark has always been worse than my bite, but fortunately for me it has been enough to keep the assholes at bay.

I am lucky that I am tall and look intimidating. It doesn’t stop men from being inappropriate but I am certain I experience less of it than my smaller, more vulnerable sisters. Because of this I have also used my physical size to protect other women being accosted and harassed. I have no problem walking up to a friend and simply dragging her away when a man was bothering her. I have placed myself in between and simply acted like the jerk wasn’t standing right there behind me. I am not a boldfaced person by nature. But I can fake it if I have to. 

The sad part is that I’ve had to, all my life, starting at a pretty young age. And this is the experience of every woman I know. None of us make it to adulthood unscathed. Every single one of us has had our boundaries violated either by a friend or a stranger at some point. I consider myself lucky because I am sure it has happened to me less. But every incident was traumatizing on some level. Every incident served to remind me that I am vulnerable, I am not respected, I am less than, to certain people merely because of my gender. I think it’s ironic that the only way I have felt even a tiny sense of security around men in public, is by imitating them. That pretty much tells you everything you need to know about how we’re socialized.

jesus I am having a conversation with someone on fb messenger in Spanish and my typing is so fucking slow it’s painful. I hate writing or reading in Spanish I crawl at a snail’s pace. The only thing I can do is talk fast. 

I have an old iPhone 4 that I decided to use as an iPod. I decided to charge it and plugged it into my laptop and it promptly flew off the bed and landed on the floor and the screen cracked (it had no case). This about the fourth of fifth time I’ve cracked the screen on this phone. It’s like it’s cursed or something. I’m not going to fix it this time there so point but oh fuck man.

I don’t understand why women’s birth control is so expensive in the States.

My birth control pills cost US $11. And those are the more expensive ones, the ones I used to use cost US $3. And I don’t need a prescription to buy them either. And I’m reading a post where a woman says Obamacare saved her $900 on birth control costs a year. $900! That’s insane!

I’m gonna start a racket selling cheap birth control and shipping it over. Y’all deserve better.

Remember my two friends who were dating?

I think they just broke up. In a kinda horrible way too. Like he got mad at her and posted something disrespectful on facebook that was a clear message to her.

I didn’t look fuh him there.

She’s really hurt. I don’t blame her.

I just came from hanging out at her house man. Now she’s in tears.

Men can really be dicks.

I went to renew my car insurance today. I lost my no claim bonus which was 45% so now the cost has effectively doubled… ouch.

Well it’s still a fraction of the cost of the damages I’d have had to pay out of pocket. But yeah that amount still hurt though.

I found the speech made by the veterans asking forgiveness for the atrocities of the US military and government to the Lakota elders to be truly moving. It was important that they named their misdeeds. You cannot ask for forgiveness if you are too ashamed to speak of your ill deeds.

I didn’t want to step all over the post so I’m posting separately about how Black people are still waiting for their apology for the atrocity that was Slavery.

I’m tired of White people making their guilt more important than our feelings. I’m tired of being told that we should get over something that is still very clearly affecting us on a global level to this day. I’m tired of White political leaders insisting that we need to “move on” when we bring up the issue of reparations, when we know damn well that every White slave owner was financially compensated for the loss of their “property” when slavery was abolished. There are families whose fortunes were built on the backs of the free labor of Black people who have never given the descendants the of those people a single cent. Families who remain enormously wealthy to this day. And this also goes for countries whose entire economies were built on the free labor of enslaved people. Who still refuse to compensate their ancestors and continue to actively engage in policies that shatter their communities. When is someone going to tell us that they are sorry? For stealing us from our homes? For obliterating any knowledge we had of our people, language, religion, customs, culture and history? For raping our women? For enslaving us for generations? For destroying our families and communities? For creating a worldwide culture that continues to denigrate us?

When is a White person going to kneel before a Black elder and ask for forgiveness for all of those things?

aliyamirat:

vaspider:

jasubb-8:

sweaterkittensahoy:

phoenyxoftheashes:

tarnished-silver-muse:

hippity-hoppity-brigade:

dramady:

womanistgamergirl:

66% of white women voted for Trump.

Their whiteness is more important than their womanhood to them.

White women want the power of white men.

White women cannot be trusted.

Not all white women. Not this white woman. To put us all into this category won’t help. I will continue to fight for all my friends.

actually, i think otherwise! to put us all into this category highlights our position of power over people whose voices were not heard at the polls yesterday. 

it’s like… 

rapists can’t be trusted, right? rapists are the absolute scum of the earth. and what’s worse is not knowing who is a rapist. someone in your circle of friends? someone you pass on the street? the person ahead of you in line at starbucks? so you close yourself off from someone who has that power over you. maybe just a little bit, but you’re aware of how you could be hurt. you make plans in your head about how you’d escape if you were attacked; you’re aware of the person behind you at the atm; you go quiet when they start talking about how they treated their dates. 

and if a guy said “not all men are rapists!” you’d say, “yeah, but all men can be rapists.” 

white women, honestly, cannot be trusted. we have endorsed and enabled slavery. we have joined the kkk and we have thrown rotten fruit at children who are walking to school. we have spit on black women who tried to fight for suffragette rights alongside us. we have formed and worked in organizations that sterilize black women without their knowledge. we turn into teachers who demonize little black boys for being too “loud” and “masculine” when they’re only being kids. we do little shitty things like try to touch black women like they’re exotic animals, and say that hispanic neighborhoods look “shady,” and tell women of color that there aren’t enough white heroines yet and that black women need to wait their turn to be important. 

it makes sense that people of color would put up their barriers and make escape plans from us. with that history, when have we really been allies? when have we been anything but fair-weather friends who love beyonce but think “ghetto” black girls are trashy? how can they know which one of us is one of the nearly 70% of white women in america who voted for trump? which one of us in starbucks or passing by on the street would betray them – has already betrayed them? 

there’s a lot that we white women have to do into order to prove ourselves to black women and black communities. it’s really hard to stand up against the status quo, especially when we’re very aware of what we could lost if we speak up. (there goes your job, your friends, your opportunities….) but if black women are living without those opportunities every day, then we have a responsibility to work until they have them and no one can take them away. it’s not up to people of color to give us leeway; it’s up to us to work with our fellow white women to help them understand change. 

I cringed when I saw “not all white women”.  Fucking seriously?  Honey, that shit didn’t work when men tried it on us, don’t try it to our sisters of color.

I accept that women of color will be afraid/wary of me at first sight.  I don’t blame them for that.  Instead of being angry that they would class me with other white women, I’m just going to be that much more aware of times and places where I can use the privilege of my skin color to try and make them safer.  Even if the next one that sees me is still afraid.

Why?  Because, in that situation, MY FEELINGS AREN‘T IMPORTANT.   It’s not about ME.  It’s not about YOU, fellow white woman who was so insulted to be grouped with those white women.  No, I didn’t vote for Trump.  But even if I walked around wearing a shirt that claimed otherwise all the time, women of color cannot look at me and know for sure that I’m not one of those white women.

If women of color are fearful of me as a white person (who passes as female), then I understand that. The fear born of something real that they experienced or have witnessed other’s experiencing. Who am I to invalidate their feelings?

Sure, I’ll let them know I’ll try my hardest to be an ally. But at the same time I’m not going to try to convince them of this because I want to make myself feel better or convince myself I’m not part of the problem. As a white person, I benefit from that privilege and I’m prone to doing racist shit. I accept that, and I try my hardest to fix it. But I can’t escape it entirely and it’s asinine that white people think they can escape it.

We can and must do better. We must. Our sisters of color are in even more danger than us, and we have to stand WITH them, not next to them decrying the idea that WE’RE the good ones.

I refuse to allow “not all men” to be a conversation in my hearing, and I refuse also, “not all white women.” No. Stop it. White women have harmed women of color. That is the point. We white women who don’t want to be lumped in with those white women need to amplify the voices of our sisters, not justify that we’re the good ones.

Woah, I’ve nearly to never seen a post like this

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Keep it coming ladies.

We cannot expect to be taken seriously if we scoff at men who say “not all men” and then turn our white asses around and say “BUT NOT ALL WHITE WOMEN.”*

*I’m nonbinary & Jewish but I’m aware I’m perceived as a white woman and have the conditional acceptance as both so better fucking own it.

I don’t care who you voted for, white woman like me, we are “in that category” whether we like it or not. Facts are facts. Good intentions are paving stones.  

I guarantee the woman with the Trump bumpersticker on her gas guzzling SUV sees my white (not young) face in the Kroger and assumes I voted like she did. She smiles at me, but gives sass to the young Muslim girl in a hijab who works at the store. And until we own that, we can’t respond to the fact that 2/3 of us voted for Trump with a “not me.” It’s a badge we haven’t earned and we can’t wear it. 

White feminism is a real, dangerous, tangible thing and we need to fight that first because that is how we help our WOC/POC friends. 

It’s was a 6.2

We’re in a bar and an earthquake that had to be at the very least a 5.0 just hit in two waves. The second was stronger than the first. It felt like we were on a ride at Disney the way the ground was buckling and shaking.

I’ve never experienced something like this in a bar. It was super amusing to see how everyone reacted.

We’re all ok just a little evening excitement.