soulsistrin

Sometimes I want to post something about my Dad and just thinking about him, I feel a physical pain in my chest. I don’t think it has to do so much with my missing him as much as it had to do with the trauma of seeing him die. I’m still reeling from that. I would have thought it would have been easier at this point but I guess not. It has left a deep scar. I don’t think I’ll ever get over watching my Dad waste away from cancer before my eyes.

Some of the people that follow my Facebook page are downright scary.

Why is the Imperial March playing in my head?

Just like dat? My brain is so weird.

So basically most of the time Chris occupies a sliver of our queen size bed, let’s say 1/6 and I occupy the rest. I’m always trying to make space but it seems to default to me hogging most of the bed.

Today I switched sides with him because I wanted to read and my lamp would reflect on the tv. I got up to get a drink of water and when I came back and got into bed I noticed he was grinning. I also noticed that I was, and had been for most of the day, been only occupying that same sliver of bed.

I asked what he was grinning about and after some prodding he admitted that he seemed to keep “sliding” across the bed, as if that side forced him into the middle. He was perplexed. I theorized that maybe he was trying to align with the TV which was on the left. He agreed it could be a possibility.

I feel vindicated now cause he’s always accused me of hogging the bed. Right now I’m about to fall off if I turn. He’s sprawled all over the damn thing. Glad to know its not me. Lesson learnt. Center the TV.

Someone posted a question asking how long everyone had been on tumblr. Just to make sure I checked my archives. Yes, January 2011 was when I started this blog.

Then I wondered how that could be correct. Chris and I have been together for a little over two years now. He’s been here for half the life of my blog?

Thinking back to 2011, that was a year I moved because my roommate made me feel unsafe when he wouldn’t take no for an answer. That was the year I got laid off from my job. That was the year my dad got diagnosed with cancer. That was the year I first met my niece.

That period of my life and the time that followed up until mid 2013 when Chris and I got together, felt so long. It was lonely, and hard, and painful. I was struggling with so much. I think back to that time and I just feel a deep sadness. It was really difficult.

I guess that’s why I had a hard time believing that it was such a short period of time. It felt like a lifetime. And the past two plus years have just flown by. It’s not as though there haven’t been challenges, but I have not felt like I was slogging through waist-high mud like I did back then. Then, everything was difficult and nothing seemed to work out. These days I have so much hope on the horizon. I’m excited about my future. And of course there is Chris. Who has changed my life for the better in more ways than I could possibly count or express.

I guess time really does fly when… Well when you’re not fighting for air. Fighting to survive. Dealing with heavy shit all by yourself.

I know that period of my life made me stronger. But I cannot tell you how glad I am that it is over. Wouldn’t give nothin’ for my struggle now.

anewfoundpeace:

hermionejg:

congenitalprogramming:

One thing I’ve observed over the years of being in this delightful wasteland of memes and anger (TLOMAA) is the neat microcosmic presentation of the effect a financially weak and business-unsavvy civilian population with a huge soundboard has on business, and how people think.

I’ve always known, or had the idea, but still..

If you extract the urge most of its users have to buy almost anything if it’s fandom-branded, most people on here, understandably, do not and cannot afford to support small artist, clothing, or luxury (anything not a necessity) businesses.

However, these are the same people who complain about capitalism, yet often in a way that leads me to believe that they don’t know what it is about capitalism they don’t like, and what literally will not and cannot be changed or blamed unless you want to obliterate the concept of money- or at least reset the global trade market and the US economy.

You see, people on tumblr are quick to try and dismantle an upcoming business’ popularity and consumer base if they think the product is too expensive.

A population of young people rightfully scrupulous of spending what they have, yet bearing totally unrealistic expectations is such a bad mix!

I hate watching this Nubian Skin drama. I hope what I’m seeing is disproportionately presented to me through a selection bias- what I’m seeing is inarguably augmented by the fact that I follow thelingerieaddict . However, this is still a trend. Anyway, in regards to the Nubian Skin drama… You know how the lingerie industry standard of ‘nude’ is just beige? And how while it certainly doesn’t match most light skinned people, it matches little to no dark skinned people? You know how the fashion industry as a whole seemingly ignores the reality that a lot of people have brown skin?

And you know how POC on tumblr are always saying ‘we need to support black businesses’? I’ll get to that one in a second.

Enter Nubian Skin Lingerie is a brand made and run by WOC. It is new. It is small. It is non-corporate. Ade Hassan started it up from the ground, and unlike huge brands like Hanes or Victorias Secret, she doesn’t (and can’t) ship her designs to a factory in another country to have her stuff made on the cheap. Nor is she stocked by every Target and Wal-Mart, or even every shopping mall. She doesn’t have that power, yet.

Starting a company is always expensive. Buying materials, getting the time to make your product (I mean you don’t have time for a regular job anymore so you have to invest and then hope it pays off!), finding and paying people to help you, making something high quality enough that people will buy, marketing it so people know it exists, trying to get other stores to carry it.. all of this takes time (which is money) and money.

But let me take a moment to explain the process of undercutting.

Undercutting is the business practice of under-pricing a product so your competition seems too expensive. This has become a standard business practice. Let’s say I make soda out of a small neighborhood factory. My soda is $6 for a 4-pack. This is what I need to charge to still make a profit and cover production costs and rent. Let’s say my competitor, who doesn’t like the homegrown popularity of my brand, and who knows someone in beverage distribution, originally sold their soda for almost the same price. So, to wipe me out, they don’t decide to make a new flavor, they don’t focus on buying commercials…they just drop the price of the soda. Initially, they’ll be eating the cost, but they can afford that more than I can. And after their deal goes through, they’ll be supported by a wider distribution range because of their new industry ties. Meanwhile, when people go to the soda aisle, they will see my $6 soda and their $4 soda and make their choice based on cost. 

Even though my soda is priced to cover the necessary production costs and leave me with a little bit of profit, undercutting has now made me look too expensive.

Undercutting is exclusively only something businesses who favor profit far over quality can do- because if you’re concerned with the quality of your materials, the pay of your employees, and the ethics of your methods, it will cost you too damn much.

This concept applies everywhere in almost every industry. Undercutting is why people look at the $55 bras Nubian Skin makes and go ‘that’s too expensive’. A lot of people are used to the prices of horrible companies like H&M that have huuuuge made-in-china factory capability, major distribution, and millions in profit. That, and aaalll of the Chinese resellers you can imagine. Let me digress:

I see this habit that people have here, when someone goes “Hey look at this new small brand that came up! This person sells x-useful-or-neat-thing for $x and you can buy it here!” People inevitably will say ‘Cool!’ and ‘Take all my money!’ but eventually people start tagging onto the promo post like ‘why? this is so expensive! You can buy something like it here and here at Wal-Mart or from this (exclusively stocked via AlieExpress) store’ so now this advertisement for a new startup company has been parasitized by people making it look unreasonably and frivolously expensive.

I’ve said it before, but I need to say it again, you also need to be aware that a lot of popular blogs that turn around and offer links to ‘cheap’ clothing are promoing stores that ship directly from China, often use photos stolen from other companies to present the concept of a quality item (just like x company but way cheaper!), and incentivize these people through affiliate programs. For a website that finds artists being ripped off completely heinous, I don’t see much of a qualm about businesses doing it. Take Blackmilk for instance.

 I know I’ve spoken on this in the past, but long story short, the business practices listed above are a problem for this company, especially when not only are people ripping off their product/photos, but I’ve seen people on tumblr actually accusing them of fraud, literally saying “They are selling leggings you can get from china at five times the price!”

I’ve even seen creepyyeha accused of this, even when it’s entirely not true, and the fact that ‘cheaper versions’ of any of her pieces exist is not because she bought and resold them, but because someone stole her designs and remade them with cheaper materials and labor.

Like.. *facepalm*.

You fell for it.

So what is my point here? Let me summarize. You see people rightfully complain about capitalism, but I don’t think you guys get how it works. Capitalism isn’t when everything is expensive and no one can afford it- that doesn’t even make sense how would anyone make money? No, part of capitalism is big bottom-line-based businesses choking out smaller honest companies. And how do they do that? By being cheaper. On all accounts. Cheaper materials, cheaper production costs, lower pay for employees, etc. So when you guys spit in the face of new, small, honest businesses with “this is too expensive!” even though you have NO CLUE what actual start up and production costs are (because your idea of price is defined by what dishonest, unsustainable, huge corporation, big box companies have sold you) you are doing one of the most capitalist things possible. You are undervaluing labor, buying into the cost over quality mentality, and supporting the idea that smaller companies are ‘too expensive’ and should not be supported.

This is not an attack on people who can’t afford otherwise (a populace with restricted income ((to a point)) is super fab for capitalism, in this way), this is an attack on those who attack smaller companies with their ignorance.

You want corporations to stop running everything? Then stop helping them crush their competition.

You want innovation? Companies that fill niches? Then support them. It costs money.

Great post. On top of this, one of the best ways to support women worldwide is to support companies that have solid and transparent labour practices. More in a video soon, but for now check out Marion’s posts on the subject 1 / 2

I will buy Nubian Skin because my nude isn’t taupe or beige or cream.

I also don’t think $55 is too expensive for a bra because my bras cost upwards of $75.

Every time I have a knee-jerk reaction I pause and ask myself if what I’m reacting to is true. If there’s a possibility that I could have misconstrued someone’s words, tone of voice etc. If perhaps I am taking something personally when it might not have been about me at all. Where am I feeling this emotion and what is the root of it? Surprisingly, most of the time my reactions have very little to do with the person or the thing. It’s usually something deeper from long ago that is being triggered. One of the Four Agreements is not to take anything personally. It requires practice, but once you remove your self, your ego, from the issue you realise that most things are not about you and have nothing to do with you. They are about the other person and how they feel about themselves. It is very freeing once you integrate this into your way of thinking.

Last night we were watching an instructional video on YouTube for Chris’s GoPro to make sure we didn’t break it while trying to insert the battery or whatever. And I picked it up and smelled it and I excitedly turned to him and said,”Smell it babe! It smells like Christmas morning when we were children!” So he did and laughed and nodded. It smelled of new electronics. It smelled like plastic remote controlled cars and dolls that crawled when you flip a switch. It smelled like video games and new batteries. It smelled like waking up to twenty presents under the Christmas tree. It smelled like the innocence of childhood. It made me happy.

I got really upset about that post last night when Gary got attacked by someone who clearly had no idea what he was talking about (I don’t know how it wasn’t clear but it never ceases to amaze me how people can misinterpret things).

The thing is, everyone is racist or prejudiced or biased on some level. I know I am. It’s impossible to escape these things. And I think being honest about it is the first step. Because that shit got put there by somebody (or bodies) else, so there’s no point feeling guilty about it. But if you don’t do anything to confront it, that’s where you’re at fault. And to confront it, you really have to be open to listening to other perspectives that don’t support your point of view. You can’t learn anything new otherwise.

Also, there’s absolutely no need to be insulting to someone you disagree with. 

Also, this telling Black people what they should have said instead, and how they should have said it? That needs to stop immediately. You would never tell a White person how to express their opinions. So stop trying to act like you’re not trying to put us in our place. 

The truth about racist people (who endlessly insist that they aren’t racist) is that their racism shows through in countless ways that they’re unaware of. And it’s blatantly obvious to the rest of us. You’re not fooling anyone. Except maybe yourself.

reiddesigns mentioned you in a post

…under #creativecommonslicense #ericwilliams #penny soulsistrin its a photoshop action…

Thanks, got it!

Someone is having a party around here and playing old school dub and conscious reggae and I’m wondering where they hid the Black people in this neighbourhood cause all I’ve ever seen are conservative Indian Muslims.

I am seriously digging the vibes y’all. It’s loud enough to hear but soft enough not to be disturbing. Nice.

Why weren’t we invited? Steups.

People are offended that Caitlyn Jenner is not offended by the Caitlyn Jenner Halloween costume?

Y’all have it too good in life. Seriously.

Really fucking tired of hearing White people tell Black people how we supposed to feel, what we supposed to say, what fucking tone we supposed to be using.

Fuck way wit dat shit.

If I hear one more person say, “You should-”

I am going.

To lose.

My fucking.

Shit.

viperslang:

Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in the environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the task of early adulthood――establishing independence and intimacy――burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and in memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma.

― Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery

I had my breakthrough with this. 

Whenever Chris sees one of our friends’ kids (little kids like toddlers) he automatically picks them up. And without fail they just nestle into him as if they just found their new home. It’s really something to behold. I’m always on the sidelines marveling at the whole thing.

Whenever I see one of our friend’s dogs I’m immediately down on the ground getting acquainted. I pet them and rub them down and play with them and tease them and have a great time. Chris is always on the sidelines watching in amusement.

Chris is attracted to children the way I am attracted to dogs.

I’m just glad we got back together after he’d had his kids or we might have had a problem.

Chris is now opening the box for his new GoPro Hero 4.

I got two new books and some cocoa butter.

Pretty good day all things considered.

We are going to a chocolate festival today.

A chocolate. Festival.

yisss

sheeeenabobeeeena:

Yes please, this is one of my favorite things to do. Come over.

Ditto

kittypride007:

i-swear-im-an-adult:

theoriginalchrisangel:

keireland:

angrila:

princess-starr:

pkeradactyl:

editorincreeps:

Princess Bride themed restaurant. Waiters say “as you wish” after taking your order.

Finish the Fezzik in an hour, your meal is free.

Come in a wheelbarrow, your meal is 10% off.

Every so often the hostess will say “bye bye boys, have fun storming the castle!” as people are leaving.

Miracle Max’s Cure for the Mostly Dead is on the menu and its a giant chocolate cakeball.

The servers will sometimes switch your wines after distracting you.

They sell Anybody Want a Peanut Brittle at the door.

“There are a shortage of perfect chicken breasts in the world. Twould be a pity not to order these.”

“Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. I’ll be your server.

Prepare to dine.”

wait staff is required to wear puffy pirate sleeves.

Make sure to build up an immunity to iocane powder before you eat there.

And check the kitchen for R.O.U.S’s

Can we make this thing happen already?

Y’all drink Malta in the states?

I need a good horror movie recommendation on Netflix. Anybody have any good ones?

Cause I have a migraine and I need to do something with myself

What is your name? What do you like to be called? My name is Natasha. Most people call me Tash or Tasha. My husband is pretty much the only person on the planet that I know who calls me Natasha. He’s weird like that.

What do you do? Is there something else you’d rather do? I make artisan jewellery. I only recently opened up my business so I’m in the creating and growing phase but it’s going well. I’d rather be independently wealthy and travelling the world in style but for now I’m very happy with this.

What was the last thing you googled? Something to do with why a contestant got kicked off of RuPaul’s Drag Race.

What is your most irrational pet peeve? All my peeves are rational. They most likely all have to do with driving. People who don’t use turn signals. People who do but then take forever to actually turn. People who get in front of you and then drive slowly. Discourteous thoughtless drivers. People in cars drive me nuts.

What are you working on? Growing my business. Trying to save some money.

Is there a meme that you just don’t “get”? The doge thing. I don’t know where I was when that happened.

What brought you to Tumblr? Gary, aka trinilikesalt. We knew each other back in the day and reconnected on twitter. I mentioned to him that I was looking for a blogging site and he told me about tumblr. The rest is history.

How have you changed in the past year? Well, I launched my business which I’d been working toward for a year and half and that’s been a huge accomplishment for me. I feel more focused and more driven and a lot more balanced than I have in a long time. It’s also been a huge boost to my self esteem to see how people react to my jewellery, and making some money again is really nice. I’m in a good place.

How do you feel about dancing? I love to dance. I don’t do it enough. I really enjoy it, alone or with Chris.

What goes on your pizza? I’m a Hawaiian pizza girl. I love the mix of the sweet and savoury. Plus who doesn’t love ham? 

She found out today. Apparently it was between her and somebody whose last position was at Facebook. Who can compete with Facebook?? She’s really disappointed. BUT they’ve offered her a contract position with a possibility of it becoming full time. She’s weighing her options.

Thank you all for your good juju, much appreciated.

I told Chris to go to the lime on his own. I have a pounding headache. He’s going to “show his face” so I guess he won’t be that long. Meanwhile I’ll be home performing a frontal lobotomy on myself.

A friend of ours is having a birthday lime for his fiancée. I don’t wanna goooooooooo.

I feel kinda Goldilocks-ish saying this but my bed is too soft. I’m gonna remove one of those foam pads. I felt like I was being swallowed. Then I had a dream that induced claustrophobia so I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic, my heart pounding. It was NOT a restful night. Ugh man.

One of my favourite parts of my day is in the evenings after Chris has fallen asleep. I’m a night owl, and out of necessity he is an early riser, so we have different rhythms. He lays peacefully next to me, some part of our bodies  always touching. I scroll through tumblr, look up jewelry stuff, or read until I’m tired. And when I’m ready to go to sleep I curl up against him and he reaches for my hand and laces his fingers with mine. And in seconds I am gone.

I keep wanting to see something with lapis and citrine together. All the blue…and implied green…

Yeah that would be a really nice combination actually… something to think about because so far in my mind I’ve only made designs using one stone alone or one stone and a long clear crystal.

shingeki-no-mass-effect:

dajo42:

realistically the space under my bed is very small so if a monster did in fact live there it would have to also be very small

it would be some kind of baby monster

i would have to look after it

The true horror: responsibility

mr-circumstance replied to your post “mr-circumstance replied to your photo “In honour of being able to…”

Ok. Well that sounds like a road trip.

Where you live?

I need that! I have a chipped tooth and it bothers me too!

I know your pain. I’m SO glad I got it seen to. I always thought it would be a long and expensive procedure but it wasn’t on either count. I honestly can’t tell you how much it has done for my peace of mind.

saramlyons:

hey friends!  here is a helpful primer on how to react when your artist friends have their art plagiarized for profit.

DO NOT:
– suggest that watermarks would solve the problem.  large watermarks greatly decrease a work’s rebloggability, and the internet is a double edged sword – even though reblogs are what inevitably gets our work stolen, we still need our work to be rebloggable in order to get recognition and build a fanbase.  subtler watermarks and artist signatures are often edited out, and sometimes even straight up left in the image (the BEST BUDS shirt on Dolls Kill recently is a good example – my signature is literally printed on the shirt).  people who are already stealing art don’t give a shit about a watermark.

– say that if we copyrighted things it wouldn’t be an issue.  even assuming that all original works aren’t BY LAW immediately and automatically protected by copyright (which they are, at least in the US), having a registered copyright will do literally fuck all to keep companies from stealing artwork if they feel like it.  "whatever forever" has a registered copyright and is also the illustration stolen from me most often.

– say “imitation is the greatest form of flattery.”  getting paid for your artwork is the greatest form of flattery.  having your artwork stolen is hugely disrespectful and really sucks.

– trot out that tired Picasso quote about how good artists borrow and great artists steal.  this is NOT what that refers to, and if you think Picasso would have been OK with people directly copying his paintings and profiting off them without his permission, you don’t know enough about Picasso to be quoting him anyway.  (also it’s highly probably that Picasso didn’t even say that, but that’s a rant for another day.)

– unless you are a lawyer or personally know a lawyer willing to work on contingency or at drastically reduced rates, please do not suggest we sue, no matter how helpful you may think you are being.  speaking as someone who currently has a lawyer on a variety of these cases – it’s not easy or cheap.  just sending C&Ds can cost hundreds of dollars.  if a case goes to litigation it can can cost thousands.  the vast majority of lawyers are not willing to work on contingency for the small payout these types of cases typically get.  most artists just can’t afford to litigate over theft by larger companies, regardless of how cut-and-dried the case might look.

– basically just don’t imply that it is the artist’s fault their work has been stolen.  

now, here are the things you can DO:
– retweet, reblog, and repost your friend’s social media posts about their art being stolen.  because of the reasons outlined above, this is often the only real recourse we have, and it is often successful at least in having the products pulled.  every single post helps.

– refuse to patronize businesses and brands that steal art, no matter how cool or inexpensive their other products might be.  spread the word to your friends about the businesses and brands that steal art.

– if you see shit, call it out.  if you see your friend’s art being used anywhere and you are not 100% sure they authorized it, let them know.  some people don’t even realize they’re supporting stolen art.  let people know.

– don’t “forgive” brands that have done your friend wrong after time has passed.  you might think we won’t notice your new shirt from that store that stole our artwork two years ago, but we do!  

– buy from small businesses and independent artists whenever you can!  SUPPORT YOUR ARTIST FRIENDS & ALL INDEPENDENT ARTISTS!

mr-circumstance replied to your photo “In honour of being able to finally eat on both sides of my mouth…”

Niceness.
Where is this Dons roti you speak of btw?

Up the street from Bobby’s Bar in… I guess that’s Petit Valley/Crystal Stream area in Diego?

My teeth feel weird. My dentist rebuilt one of my front teeth which had chipped several times and was significantly shorter than the other. I’m sure it was only evident to me but I hated how it looked and found it especially prominent in pictures.

To balance it out he removed some of the height from the bottom teeth. Now when I eat everything feels weird. Teeth too long, too short. How do people who get veneers and crowns deal with a totally new mouth full of teeth?

On the plus side my fixed tooth looks gorgeous and I can’t stop running my tongue over it. It’s bothered me since my teens. It took all of five minutes to fix. I love my dentist.

Ok I’ve finished my goat roti. It’s now time for hibernation. I’ll see y’all in a month

*oh my god I am so full*

everydayjewels replied to your post “Just removed my stitches at the dentist. I seem to be healing up…”

Glad you have healed well!

Thanks! I’m glad too I was a little worried as I am still getting tiny bone graft particles in my mouth every so often but it seems it’s going as it should 🙂

Just removed my stitches at the dentist. I seem to be healing up really well so I should be back here in four weeks to do some X-rays and see how the graft took.

He also just fixed a tiny chip I had in my top front tooth that was really bothering me. He had to do some slight grinding on my bottom front teeth which was fine with me they’ve always been too long in my opinion. My top front teeth look perfect now I’m so happy with the job he did.

He’s cleaning Chris’s teeth now so I’m just jibbin in the meanwhile.

I have my follow up dental appointment today to remove whatever remains of my stitches. Chris has a cleaning after.

I haven’t spent any time in the studio this week because I’ve been running around in town every day. I’m really low on stock and I need to make a bunch of new stuff for the next upmarket.

I’m still sleepy. Wondering if I should go back to sleep. Sounds yummy.

No seriously y’all don’t send bad juju. To anyone. Ever.

But thanks for your good wishes. I really want my sis to get this job. I’m beaming as much positive energy her way as I can.

I feel like a Care Bear.

I just seriously asked myself if I might be following anyone Amish on tumblr.

I think it’s time to hit the sack.

G’night y’all.

Is it just us older folks who think the update was sensible?

Are younger people just so damn insistent in protesting everything that they will cry down things that work better because fuck change? I just saw a post demanding a 24 hour boycott to protest.

You can mobilize your ass for this but… Nah never mind.

The update is BETTER. You can tell who said what. Plus it’s neater. And doesn’t turn sentences into vertical strings of letters. In two weeks (days) you will be outraged about something else that you cannot change.

Let this one go.

There’s a lot of shit I’m supposed to give a fuck about but don’t.

I’d like to think that I’m a good person, but the truth is that I’m apathetic as fuck.

And I don’t even care.

Buttered toast fresh out of the toaster. Lots of butter. I love butter. The rich yummy stuff from Ireland and New Zealand.

Cream of wheat

Oddly enough I still feel stuffed from lunch this afternoon so I’m not hungry.