For some reason, the scars on my face have been bothering me more than ever before.

For those who don’t know, I was mauled by a dog when I was five, on my face. The dog ripped apart my left eyelid, and left a deep gash in my forehead which bears the most prominent scar. I also have three scars on my right cheek, one which was a deep puncture wound. And two scars on my neck also from puncture wounds.

It’s never bothered me before but lately, I don’t know why, it’s bugging me. At 40 I started suffering from mild adult acne. After taking medication my skin cleared up, but the side effect is that it made my oily skin produce even more oil. So half an hour after I put makeup on my face has a sheen than pronounces all of my scars. 

I don’t know why this is bugging me so much lately. It’s never bothered me before. Maybe it’s an age thing. But the realization that I will never have a flawless complexion seems to be getting to me recently. I don’t know what the difference is but I’m noticing my scars more and more. Maybe I just need to get some sun and get a nice healthy glow going. But it’s weird that after all these years the scars are starting to get to me. It doesn’t make sense. I must be having a midlife existential crisis. Cause seriously what the fuck.