Chris got a call today from a friend of ours. He used to date my cousin when we were teenagers. Apparently they reconnected through the magic of the internet and have been messaging and talking up a storm over the past 48 hours.

I spoke to him tonight and he told me that if she would be with him now he’d drop everything in a heartbeat to be with her. They are both in relationships. But they both admitted that they still held deep feelings for one another.

I understand the allure. I am, after all, married to MY first love. And while I know that not all first loves are great, ours was, and so was theirs.

There’s something very magical about that period of your life, when you’re young and haven’t yet experienced heartache. When you don’t know what life has in store for you and your entire future looks exciting. When you’re too inexperienced to even dream of the hardships that will come your way.

We were a foursome in those days, always together. My cousin was quite young then, 14, 15. But she had a lot of freedom in part because she was with me and Chris. We were good kids, our teenage years were pretty innocent. Really, we just loved partying and hanging out. And we have so many wonderful memories from those days.

I don’t suppose anyone can really compete with a first love. I know that every relationship I had after Chris paled in comparison. For him too. And even our relationship today cannot compete with what we had before. We’re not teenagers anymore. We’re not innocent anymore. And we’ve both been damaged. But I am still happy that we got our second chance. Because it is still better than anything we ever had with anyone else. And as I told him tonight, I’m glad I’m not having that conversation with him while I’m in a relationship with someone else. I don’t have to long for him anymore. Thank god.

For them I don’t know what the future holds. I hope they can rekindle their friendship without causing their relationships any damage. But I can’t help but think that something must be lacking for them to have reached out to each other in the first place.