• I got up in a pretty good mood today.
  • Today my dad’s getting his second round of chemo. Sometimes I have days like yesterday where I can just be free and not have the weight of his illness all over me. Today is not one of those days.
  • I’m really hoping he doesn’t start developing any new side effects. So far it’s been minimal.
  • I wish I knew how free I was before all of this happened. I think I knew it but I had no real appreciation of it. I don’t feel free anymore. I can’t just pick up and go (like my brother did). I have to stay here and deal with it and help and support and all that shit.
  • Yeah I think it’s fucked up that my brother left. He didn’t have to. He’s not working right now. He could have stayed, I imagine. I would have loved to have flown away and not dealt with cancer either. But I don’t have that choice now do I? Even if I did, I don’t think I would have exercised it.
  • Then again he often does that. Ostrich kind of thing.
  • I don’t want to think about any of this. I think I’ll go to the beach with my sister and Niecy.
  • Plus, look at my guitar! I’ve missed you guitar!

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