I saw this question once on Humans of New York and this woman responded in a way that has stayed with me for all these years. This is what she said:
“When a wave comes, go deep. There’s three things you can do when life sends a wave at you. You can run from it, but then it’s going to catch up and knock you down. You can also fall back on your ego and try to stand your ground, but then it’s still going to clobber you. Or you can use it as an opportunity to go deep, and transform yourself to match the circumstances. And that’s how you get through the wave.”
Because I think visually, this immediately resonated with me. Growing up in the Caribbean, I learnt to swim in the ocean. When a wave comes at you, you have to dive deep under it. Sometimes that wave is going to crash right on top of you. But if you dive deep enough, the turbulence and force will pass over you and you will come out ok after it’s gone. Having been through a great deal of turbulence in my life, the only way I’ve ever been able to get through it is by diving into myself to find the resilience and strength to come out on the other side without being destroyed. This is the only way.
Things you’ve learned you wish you knew earlier.
That minding my own business is very freeing.
That establishing boundaries needs to be done early on. In a friendship, in a relationship, whatever.
To stop taking the world personally.
That people don’t think about you. They think about what you think about them.
That I should never go against what my gut tells me.
That I should assume positive intent. This is very new to me. I like it a lot. Most people really aren’t out to fuck me up.
So this guy and his girlfriend came into my booth tonight, and the girl was immediately drawn to my resin petal earrings while the guy was more interested in the artwork on the wall.
The girl gravitated first to a pair of sunflower earrings and she asked her boyfriend what he thought of them and he said they’d look great on her. She was interested in some others too and she’d show them to him and he’d say no, the sunflowers, and she’d put them back.
I gave her my mirror so she could hold them up to her ears and see her reflection. She showed him a few other pairs to which he answered now dismissively, “You’re wearing them you decide.” But the minute she seemed like she was gonna choose another pair (there were some blue orchid petals that perfectly matched her outfit) he would insist that she choose the sunflowers.
This went on for over five minutes. One minute he would demand that she choose for herself and indecision would take over as she tentatively picked each one up to examine them, and then he would barge in again and insert his opinion and her decision process would fall to pieces. I watched in fascination.
When she finally decided on the sunflowers she triumphantly held them up for him and told him she was getting those. He barked back, “I’m not a bank I don’t have any money.” And her body language spelled utter confusion. From the way he had been encouraging her to choose them, both she and I were under the impression he was going to buy them for her. I was embarrassed for her by his rudeness.
She quickly gathered herself and pulled out her credit card, and while I was taking care of the transaction, she went back to the blue orchid petal earrings and showed them to him again. “No,” he said flatly. “Only buy one.” No reason, nothing. And I almost blurted out, “But why! If she wants the other ones!?” I’d already told her I would give her a discount on a second pair, and I intended to make it a hefty one if only to ensure she disobeyed his command. But I kept my mouth shut and watched as she immediately put them back.
I took a close look at them. They were not, as I expected, in their twenties but looked more like they were in their thirties. They both wore wide smiles and called each other “babe”. I liked them, to be honest. But their dynamic seemed so unhealthy. She was insecure and approval-seeking and he was controlling and manipulative. They reminded me of twenty-something me and my ex husband. Before we got married. It got worse after. I wondered if anyone else saw this. If they themselves were aware of their dynamic. I didn’t think she was, but I suspected he damn well knew what he was doing. Ah well. I maybe it worked for them.
She spent another minute picking up earrings hoping he would give her the go-ahead. He ignored her and asked me questions about the art instead until she stopped asking. I silently thanked my lucky stars I wasn’t with someone like that anymore, completed the sale and bid them farewell.
A friend who is a total sweetheart just reveled to me that his wife is serving him with divorce papers. I did my best to comfort him while biting my tongue. He’s one of the gentlest souls I’ve ever met while I found her energy harsh and aggressive. I didn’t tell him that of course. I’m just sorry he’s going through this. But yeah she didn’t seem like the kind of person I’d have picked out for him.
I was feeling irritable earlier so I decided to go get some food because I was hungry and getting hangry.
I ate, and while my hunger subsided, my mood continued to be stink. I realised I’m probably just peopled out. I’ve just had enough interaction with human beings for the year day.
Also it would really elevate my mood if someone had a puppy. I wanna pet a puppy. Unfortunately we are not that kind of culture. We leave our pets at home.
Most of the time when women say they’re gonna go get their husband and come back and make the purchase, they do.
When’s there’s a pack of women browsing, if you don’t hook the leader you’re not gonna make a sale no matter how much one of the other women wants to buy. Once she wanders off it’s over.
The men who run and hide from their wives so they can stealth purchase something she was looking at are the cutest.
People who are looking to steal have a certain vibe about them. It’s desperate and nasty.
I love it when people really appreciate my work whether or not they purchase anything.
People who are looking to spend money versus those who who are just browsing have a very different energy.
People who take business cards rarely ever use them.
People who don’t supervise their kids are the worst.
I am badly in need of a massage. By back is in knots. My hips hurt.
I doubt I will be doing this market again next year. It’s too grueling. And people aren’t buying this year. So far I’ve made in four days what I would normally make in one day at a regular market. Unless sales drastically pick up today I think this will be the end for me and the Emancipation Village.
Today we celebrate freedom. We will be at the Emancipation Village, Booth 3 (third booth on the right as you enter). Have a safe and blessed holiday ❤️
I woke up this morning and my body feels physically exhausted. Well back to back 8 hour market days will do that. I’m SO TIRED. Well today is the last day. Let me drag myself over there. Looks like it’s gonna be a hot one too. Argh.
Remember that friend I have who I knew was lying to me and when I found out what it was about I blew my lid and then we talked it out and we’re fine?
Well I saw his girlfriend the other day for the first time since it all blew up (the fucking madness involves her… in fact it’s about her) and she clearly has some serious feelings about me. I was nice to her. Chatty even. She came over to say hi in an almost confrontational manner and when she saw how I was it seemed to make her even more wary of me. She kept watching me out of the corner of her eye. I wanted to say, “Relax girl I not on you I just care ‘bout my friend alright?” But of course I didn’t.
Then two days later I saw her again in the presence of some other friends. And as soon as she left, my girlfriend said, “Tash, she does NOT like you at ALL!” I shrugged. I know.
I think she thinks I want to… break them up or something. Cause she’s fucked up and crazy. But like whatever he’s with her that’s his business all I want to do is be there for him. I don’t think about her at all. But she sees everyone who loves him as a threat.
Also have yall considered that when a young girl says she wants to be a boy she isn’t necessarily trans but may just be frustrated and upset with the misogyny that comes with being female and is bitter about the privileges afforded to men and simply doesn’t have the complex language yet to really voice that?
Was exactly my case. I spent my whole childhood wanting to be a boy. Turns out I just wanted to be a person.
I placed a big order for supplies today because almost every single one of those leaf earrings I’ve been making has been sold. That’s incredibly validating. Also it’s great cause I am currently obsessed with leaves so I won’t get fed up of making them anytime soon.
Can you read people online or is it mainly just in person you get those vibes?
Well… all I can say is that I’ve never found out that someone is shady/twisted/adulterous/fucked up etc. on tumblr and was shocked. I can’t say I was necessarily tapping into their energy (I can’t say I wasn’t either) but even when people try to fabricate an online persona… I guess there’s stuff they reveal that they don’t know they’re revealing, OR I’m picking up on something. I don’t try. I don’t deliberately tap into people here in that way (unless they’ve asked me to) so I just go with whatever vibe their content gives me.
It’s a million times easier in person because I can feel people’s energy. All people resonate with their own vibration. It’s like a signature or a fingerprint. And with some people, especially good and positive people, they often transmit that energy like a beacon and beam it forward. It’s beautiful to feel that. Most people who are not good or positive tend to pull in their energy because they don’t want people to know what they are. They like to hide. But not always. I’ve met evil people who didn’t give a fuck who knew it. I’ve seen evil people recognize that I saw them for what they were and send that energy out as a warning to stay the fuck away and mind my business. Which I did.
I tend to pull my energy in because I pick up too much on other people’s energy. And sometimes the lines get blurred with where I end and they begin. I’m also just generally disinterested in most people so I don’t care to transmit any sort of message to anyone. Not come, not go, just whatever, I’m neutral I’m Switzerland.
Being this sensitive is exhausting. You can feel people’s feelings, you can pick up on things about them, know things you shouldn’t be able to know, tap into their fears, their lies, their secrets, all the things that they try to hide. I don’t like doing that. I want to respect people’s privacy. So it’s one of the reasons I keep my energy drawn in, and maintain a policy of “it’s not my business” because I really don’t want to go there. Even if I know someone I love is hiding something from me or lying to me, I will let them, and leave it there. And for the record it is impossible to lie to people who are like this. The truth has a certain energetic resonance. Lies have another. Evasion has another. It’s as clear as day. It’s frustrating that people even try because they are so transparent. But whatever, people need what they need. I could probably go on about this all night because it basically rules every aspect of my life from what music I listen to, to what shows and movies I consume, where I go, what I do, who I do it with… everything is based on energy and vibrations and how it affects me.
But to give you the short answer, yes I can read people online if I make the effort to tap into their energy but I choose not to and instead form my impression of them from their posts.
I was talking to a girlfriend the other night and I had a moment of revelation. I was telling her that when it comes to reading people’s energy, I know good people when I meet them. And then it suddenly hit me. If that’s true then the opposite is true also. If I’m having doubts about someone and can’t make up my mind… “Then you know they’re not good people,” she finished.
And that friend I was talking about recently, the one who is one way in person but online she’s a holy terror? Like ever since I met her I’ve been on the fence, evaluating, taking notes, waiting, watching. And it became crystal clear to me in that moment that if I haven’t made up my mind about her it’s because I already know that she’s not good people. It doesn’t mean she’s evil or anything. But she doesn’t have that vibe that I’m talking about. Where you know in their soul they are good, kind, decent people.
And it also told me something that I never wanted to invite her into my group of girlfriends. I’ve known A for five years. T and I just met and it was instant between us. We get together and it’s magic. And I never wanted her there because she wouldn’t fit. Because they are beautiful, uplifting, positive, magical women to the depths of their beings. And she… is not.
not really. I’ve been to the one in hyatt a few times but honestly there’s something a little clinical about it that I don’t like. a lady i know owns a spa in Woodbrook Meta Spa I’ve never used the services but I like the vibe better. I should really treat myself after this…. to ONE of those things on my list LOL
It’s been raining like crazy today. That means that nobody is going to be at the Emancipation Village. So I can sit her in the comfort of my air conditioned bedroom and lay in my comfortable bed and do fuck all. I’m not even gonna work. I’m not doing shit. I had coffee, I’m gonna have pizza for breakfast.
A spa day. I’ve been working really hard lately and I’m tired and my body is sore. I need some pampering. The full works… body scrub, massage, mani, pedi, facial, something involving aromatherapy… I want to be spoilt. Oh and chocolate and champagne too. And strawberries. And passion fruit mousse.
I have a friend who will text me shit and give me no fucking context so I always feel like I’m walking in on the middle of a movie with her. It’s really fucking annoying. She just did it again. I don’t understand this way of communicating. Explain what the fuck you’re talking about.
Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.
My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.
Who alway got in trouble? Me.
They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.
She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.
The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.
I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.
So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize.
“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.
These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me.
“Melissa, did you punch him?”
“Yes.” I said.
“Why?”
“Because he snapped my bra strap.”
And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.”
“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.”
“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?”
I didn’t get suspended that day.
*slow clap for excellent parenting*
This is the parent I want to be omg
I went to a nun school.
The nuns there were like, so rad.
It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there.
There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy.
So what happened?
The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day.
Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”
So I was at my desk during class looking like this:
Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.
If the Catholic church were run by like 90% of the nuns I know, the world would be a much better, much cooler place.
Emancipation Village! We have art for sale on our booth. Come and see the work of the talented Kevin McMayo. Booth 3 Arts and Crafts Section @kevinmcmayo
Italian photographer Lorenzo Montezemolo climbed Mt. Tamalpais to capture Marin County, California covered with a river of fog lit by a full moon. He later wrote that he had “compressed 186 seconds of moonlit fog into an instant.”
I met someone today and after we’d had a pretty open heartfelt conversation, he revealed to me that while he’d always seen me around, he always stayed very far from and wanted nothing to do with me.
I chuckled and told him that I am very aware that I don’t have a welcoming energy. I told him it was deliberate. He is the second person in as many weeks to make this observation about me.
He nodded in understanding. “You’re guarded,” he said. His energy is love for all mankind jah Rastafari. Mine says stay away thanks much. I’m not interested.
I used to be very different. But there came a point where I realised that not everybody was worth my time, worth entering my space, worth spending energy on. I feel people’s vibes and if I like them I will open myself up them. But unless they bring positivity into my life, they are simply not welcome. I’m not here to school anyone. I just want to live my life from a peaceful and positive place.
He turned to me as we were talking and his face lit up. “You a real good person! Real positive! Ah real glad ah get to talk to you today!”
I’m all set up in my booth. Had something to eat I’m now chilling out. My booth-mates are very cool (my friend Ro arranged this), one is a jeweler and seamstress and the other is an artist. So we have beautiful paintings all around us. We finish at 10 tonight. I’m leaving my stuff set up. Zero stress. I’m here til Wednesday.
I got a table at the Emancipation Village this year again. Not with the same people but the spot we have is better than where I was last year (I think… it’s right by the entrance).
I’m really tired from the market I did yesterday and I’m not feeling 100% today (my stomach is acting up). Also I never really made any extra stock for this market (it’s until Wednesday). But what I have is going to have to do. I gotta go pack up my folding table, my stock and go set up cause time is money. All I would really like to do however is take a nap. I’m just not gonna stress it too much. I’m too tired to care right now.
We’re at the Emancipation Village again this year! Booth No.3 in the Arts & Crafts section (or the third booth on the right after the entrance). Come and stop by!
Lookit shawty baby hairs. You can see the difference between her actual shade and the stuff they had us puttin on smh
Shout out to black women for getting tired of being excluded and deciding to create make up for black folks !
this is also a good example of a photography issue.
in photography, the film used early on was specifically designed to pick up light skin tones, leaving black people to appear much darker.
translucent powder is supposed to keep your makeup looking fresh and to help maintain a flat even look for film/photos – but when the flash bounces off the translucent powder, it’s rendered visible on dark skin – while it would remain invisible (or less noticeable) on someone with light skin. the product was designed for light skin and doesn’t work quite right for us.
Also, when they finally started adjusting film to be able to pick up realistic shades of brown it wasn’t to accommodate people with brown or black skin, it was because the furniture industry complained that their products never photographed accurately.
I did a market today. I did pretty good sales-wise. And guess what? Every single piece I sold was one of those new leaf earrings I made. Nothing else. Huh.
I had a really wonderful day at the 🏳️🌈 Pride🏳️🌈 Fair and Parade. I’m so honored to have been invited to participate and show my support. ❤️LOVE IS LOVE❤️ #pride #trinidad2018 @kennedy_maraj
Went outside and that moon looked very disappointing. However my coven agrees that it has us all feeling super mellowed out. Right now I feel almost high. Niceeeee.
Try to keep your body clean. With food. With thoughts. With energy. Everything adds up into one, contributing to your inner purity. Do not neglect yourself, for both you and your body deserve the utmost respect and care.
I spent the day outdoors in shorts on Sunday. I thought it would have faded by now but I guess it had been a while since me legs saw some sun. At least my calves have some colour right?
any possibility that the sweet supportive thing is a front and the online self is the true self?
I guess it’s possible but I think she really IS like that. I think it’s not a mutually exclusive thing you know? Like my analysis of her personality is that she’s 1000% there for you but if you cross her it’s hellfire and brimstone. You know one of those people who have had a really fucking hard life and see a fight in almost everything? I think that’s her. She’s been through some SHIT and THEN SOME. I think she just doesn’t know how to stop fighting.
I have a friend who in real life is sweet, supportive, loyal, thoughtful, generous and kind. However her online persona is terrifying and if I had met her through facebook I would have run for the hills.
Her statuses consist of throwing words for other people (who she does not name so in her mind it’s ok), complaining posts about her husband or other family members that are so transparent she might as well tag them, catty remarks about other people’s appearances and just in general too much of what is going on inside of her brain.
I put her on that 30 day snooze thing a couple of days ago because I just couldn’t take being bombarded with so much negativity. It’s fine if you wanna work out your shit in a public forum and tell everybody your business and who you have beef with, it’s not for me to tell you how to manage your social media presence, but I can’t be on the receiving end of all that shit. Also, it looks messy as fuck. I find myself putting a lot of distance between us lately because while in person she’s really delightful, that part of her scares the shit out of me and I don’t want to incur that wrath of hers.
Earring production station today… after making the actual pieces (which is a several day process in itself), I have to put all the pieces together. Cut wire, bend into ear hooks, file ends, attach to each earring, place on ear cards, secure with earring backs, price, and put away! I hope you guys will be joining us at the 🏳️🌈 Pride🏳️🌈 Fair and Parade tomorrow! Nelson Mandela Park from 10am. Remind me to tell you about my encounter with the great Mandela one day 🤗
Over at Elle, I had a really fascinating conversation with sociologist and racial justice facilitator Robin DiAngelo on why white people blow up or break down when they’re confronted about racism, how white women’s fragility differs from white men’s, and why white progressives can be some of the hardest people to talk to about race.
Are you going too hard on it? What size is it, a 3? Start at an angle slowly and then speed up as you make the blade more vertical to the metal.
no it’s not that. I was doing some very tight angles. I eventually figured out that if I sawed one side and then came in on the other side to meet it I would be less likely to catch the blade and break it. I’m done sawing now though so no more screaming lol
ok, i’m built like a noble ox. like i am 6′1 and i am sturdy lady. like thighs for days. if you try to move me. you will be moved. body images aside (lol, i am self conscious about my size, yeah it’s life)
so like, i am very used to girls standing next to me in public places. i end up acquiring a pack of ladies. just because women are like, that lady is a lady men stay away from. i am jerk kryptonite (usually, i get my fair share of creeps, such is life) but most men have self preservation that this 6′1 ox will break them. and i will
so usually i am in my own phone and look up to another lady standing next to me. and i will immediately look up and make eye contact and nod. like, you know, that nod. i see you and you can talk if there is something wrong. i end up on a reg basis being a defacto bodyguard to these young ladies and small women while waiting for buses and in the metro.
i am a large oak tree. i protect the other birds.
ladies, we all got roles. find tree in the wild. we’re always happy to provide shelter from the creeps.
i’ve regularly said, “move on, she doesn’t want to be your friend”
I’m in love
Story time: So I’m 6’2 and “big boned” as my mother would call it. This happens to me all the time and a couple years ago I managed to get the the front row of a Macklemore concert. This woman, probably 5’4, squeezes up next to me and says, “Hey, I’m here alone, do you mind if I stand in front of you?” Of course not. So we’re all having a good time, dancing around, when all of a sudden this Bro™️ is behind me telling me that I’m too tall to be in the front row and it’s not fair. Now, keep in mind that this concert was outside, in February, in Vail CO. It was FREEZING so not only am I of the stature I am but I had my hair up and a beanie on and a big coat and boots. We try our best to ignore him but Bro™️ is drunk and very clearly thinks I’m a man and proceeds to punch me in the back of the head.
LIL SIS WENT OFF, FOLKS. This tiny woman literally moved me out of the way, jumped up, and head butted Bro™️ in the face with such a fury. I thought she was going to kill him, it was truly a beautiful moment in my life.
The moral of the story is that for every tree in the wild there is a cute little birdy who will defend its shelter to the death. Stick together ladies👯♀️
I took three years of history in high school. I studied international relations in college and had to take a lot of history courses there too.
Never once have I ever had a history class that included anything about the Africa before white people came and raped the continent. According to the history books Africa barely existed, unless we’re talking about the ancient Egyptians, which many people think of as separate from Africa.
I am determined to educate myself about the history of the so-called dark continent. I’m not even sure where to start but we are in the information age. I will find resources. If they won’t teach us we will teach ourselves.
Photography really, really matters when it comes to advertising your business. I’m not saying I’m an expert in any way but I really make an effort. It jumps out at me when I see people who don’t. I just think it look unprofessional.
I cut my foot today and it was bleeding all over the place even though it didn’t hurt at all. I didn’t mind so much I kinda have a bit of a fascination for stuff like that. But now it’s moved to the phase where it’s itching for some odd reason and I want to rip my foot off. But that would probably be a little too much blood.
I just made this very cute tiny version of my brass monstera leave. They’re 1.5” long and I think they’re just adorable! #monstera #brass #earrings #sundara
These lovely handmade bronze #monstera earrings are headed to Texas today! 🛫 Yes we do ship internationally via registered mail 📮to every corner of the globe 🌎 so feel free to contact us if you see anything you want 💕
It is a stupid custom and traces back to a time when women were property. Anybody who rejects this antiquated bullshit gets a thumbs up from me.
Interestingly, it is not a custom in many other parts of the world. Hispanic cultures for example, women always keep their names even if they add their husbands. Their children inherit both names. That seems much more egalitarian to me.
Multiple names is pet peeve of mine, after working for many years in a customer service capacity where legal names are supposed to be used. We have a large Latin population in California, and many have first names, middle names and sometimes more than two last names. That’s all fine and all, but use the same names on EVERYTHING!! Don’t put Antonio Garcia on your driver’s license and Manuel Antonio Garcia Romero on your house deed, and Manny Romero on your bank account! This is not restricted to Latino people, by any means, I just encounter that most based on the local population. It looks shady af and makes it hard to match up legal documents.
Actually as I was writing about that I was wondering how people handle this sort of stuff because I know they often don’t use their full names unless it’s for anything formal. It WOULD be confusing and look kinda shady. Plus I think it shows poor judgement not to use the same names across the board.
This is actually part of the reason I never changed my name or added his. Wayyyy too much trouble to change all my documents. My sister in law after over ten years of marriage still has to walk with a copy of her marriage certificate everywhere she goes because not everything has been changed over. I’m not putting myself through that.
Adding a husband’s name onto a bride’s still seems like planting a flag. Does the husband put the wife’s name onto his?
I’m not sure… the whole thing is a little convoluted and people end up with five and six last names sometimes. I never quite figured out how it worked. I believe in arab cultures women don’t change their names either. Of course at the end of the day we’re all carrying some man’s name right?
Wow, that is such intricate work. I love that you created this video. Most folks don’t think about the work put into creating something by hand
That’s actually why I did it. Chris suggested it would be good for people to see how much work goes into making one of these pieces so they have an idea of what they’re paying for. I made those earrings over the course of TWO days
It is a stupid custom and traces back to a time when women were property. Anybody who rejects this antiquated bullshit gets a thumbs up from me.
Interestingly, it is not a custom in many other parts of the world. Hispanic cultures for example, women always keep their names even if they add their husbands. Their children inherit both names. That seems much more egalitarian to me.
I feel super accomplished today. I was able to do some work, AND shoot, edit and complete a video today. Y’all woulda laughed to see my shooting setup. I was using my phone to shoot and I couldn’t find anything to rest it on that was high enough so I ended up wrapping my flexible tripod around a foot tall bronze statue of Don Quixote (whose base is an ashtray) that I’ve had since high school. It did the trick! I think I wanna do more videos like that. It was quick and easy to do. Yay!
I was working on some brass monstera leaf earrings today. On the recommendation of my better half, I decided to do a short video showing the process. I’ve posted a slightly longer version of the video on my blog www.sundarablog.com so head on over if you want to see more of the steps!
So I tried an edible for the first time yesterday.
It came in the form of a chocolate chip cookie. My girlfriend recommended I just eat a quarter and told me it should start working within a half and hour.
Half an hour later I figured it was a dud. Chris and I sat down to watch a movie. An hour later I still felt normal.
And then it hit me. I suddenly found myself babbling a lot and analyzing the film. And then that feeling of deep relaxation I’d been feeling went… a little deeper. It was enjoyable. I rode it out until one movie and one episode of Sharp Objects later I fell asleep. I woke up this morning feeling no residual effects. Next time I’ll take half that dose if I’m gonna do anything where I have to actually function? But for recreational purposes, yeah it was really nice.
Whatever it is that’s been attacking my lungs and making it hard to breathe and giving me mad sinus problems seems to have eased up a bit today. I can actually take a few deep breaths without coughing. It’s been over a week of feeling shitty so I’m thankful. I’d be even more thankful if this dry cough would disappear altogether.
Before and After: Metal Clay. So for those of you unfamiliar with what metal clay IS, I’ll explain. Metal clay is made up of very fine powdered metal (silver, bronze, copper etc.) that is mixed with an organic binder (like methylcellulose) which when mixed together with water will form a substance that is exactly like clay in texture. It can be rolled, stamped, molded, carved, basically anything you can do with clay. In my case I make my leaves by carefully piping it through a small syringe and then using a damp paintbrush to smooth the joints. Once the metal clay has dried completely it is then placed in a kiln and fired at high temperatures for several hours, the binder will burn out and the fine metal particles will sinter, or become a solid piece. Some shrinkage will occur. After firing and cleaning we have a solid piece of lovely jewelry! In this case , these lovely leaves which I can’t find the name for… I found them when searching for palm leaves. If anyone knows what they’re called I’d be much obliged ❤️
I hate this kind of bureaucracy sometimes. In Sweden, the tax office holds all your personal information including marital status. What I find annoying is that I can’t have ‘single’ as my status…it has to say ‘divorced’. Why the heck does it have to be that specific?! Grrr.
Yeah that really bothered me when I got divorced too. Like, I was gonna be “divorced” for the rest of my life? That sucked.
Getting better acquainted with my jewelry saw… the don’t think I’ll ever love it but for some things in life there just aren’t any shortcuts. Affordable ones anyway! #elbowgrease
Good for you not changing your name. Nothing wrong with changing it but for some reason, I dig that. My wife didn’t change hers and I considered changing mine to hers just to piss off the correct people.
I think it’s an antiquated idea but there are lots of reasons why people would do it, none of which applied to me (we weren’t having kids, I didn’t hate my last name etc. etc.). I had actually suggested to my ex husband we take each other’s names and he wasn’t having that. My current husband might have done it but I like his name exactly as it is so i never suggested it.
So like a month ago I went to renew my passport and was told I needed to make an appointment. I don’t recall having had to do that in the past. Chris renewed his earlier this year and he didn’t have to make one but I dunno maybe it’s a busy period. So whatever I made the appointment. Today was my day at 10pm.
I get here at 9:15 and the woman overseeing my documents asks me for the original and a copy of my marriage certificate. I’m like why? Oh because your status has changed now that you got married. I told her I didn’t change my name. Also that no where on the list of stuff I had to bring in was that. She insisted.
So I had to go down to the registrar’s office and get a copy and then photocopy it and come back. It took me two hours in total because parking and traffic and walking and whatever. So I’m here now and waiting for them to call me in.
I asked Chris and he said he didn’t have to present a marriage certificate. So apparently they just demand this of women by default. I also noticed that in the form they asked about any ex spouses for women but not for men. What the fuck is that about? If I didn’t change my name what do they need all this shit for?
I swear if they give me one more bit of trouble I’m gonna scream.
Oh and some guy just comes up to me saying how they don’t accept cash payments and can he “borrow” my debit card. I mean it’s not like the signs aren’t everywhere that they don’t take cash.
soulsistrin 