I’ve seen Americans use “side dude” or “side dick”. African Americans also use “side nigga”. You know we Trini does just call dat de “horner man” lol. Like the late calypsonian Penguin said: “A deputy essential!” ð
Oh yeah I knew side nigga. And I forgot about horner man for some reason maybe I don’t use it. I swear it’s like an epidemic in T’dad.
So is there a male version of this side chick phenomenon? I mean is there a word for it?
Side dick?
We call that an outside man (or woman) in Trinidad. Or a deputy. It’s a common thing.
I’ve never understood why anybody would accept that role, but I realize that not everybody looks for the same things in relationships that I do.
Bottom line is I can’t engage in a relationship, romantic or otherwise, built on a foundation of dishonesty. And if you’re the extra then somebody’s getting lied to.
The evolution of an illustration. I don’t know how other artists work but I tend do a lot versions and refine along the way. I do it so that I can go back and make changes if I decide on another direction. This one will be a lovely sea turtle pendant in the near future.
I’m not feeling this season of OITNB. At all. I’ve been “watching” it while I work so I haven’t been paying close attention to it but something about this season is grating on me. And making me uncomfortable. It feels inauthentic and plastic. I’m only watching it to finish it.
That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.
My mom has an iPhone 6 Plus and hasn’t even had it for a year when one day it suddenly died and would not charge. So she took it to an authorized Apple repair place and they charged her $50 for a diagnostic only to tell her that she would have to buy a brand new phone.
So she decided to go to the AT&T store to talk to our usual guy that upgrades our phones and handles any problems for us. She tells him what’s wrong and he takes her phone to the back only to come out two minutes later, puts her phone on charge and it comes back to life.
She asks him what was wrong with it that he managed to somehow fix when the people at the “authorized apple repair place” couldn’t. And you know what he told her?
“There was just a bit of fuzz in the charging port.”
Both of their weddings became less about them and more about satisfying family + ideals of what a wedding day should be. People somehow feel genuinely insulted about being left off but forget HOW MUCH a wedding actually cost or if the couple would have wanted something small and intimate.
That’s exactly why we did it. Aside from the expense, a wedding is stressful as FUCK. We wanted to BE married, not GET married.
I really have never understood that mentality that some folks have. Like, it’s not about you so why get all butthurt??
I think eloping is the strongest message you can send saying that you wanted to get married in private. Other than doing it in secret and never telling anybody. How can you take that and get made you weren’t invited? There isn’t even anything to get invited too!
One of my cousins just emailed me and said I heard you got secretly married!
I guess it’s been a while since I last saw her cause our third anniversary is coming up in a few months.
I was thinking back to when we eloped and I was really amazed by how many people took it personally that we didn’t invite them. I thought that the rules of elopement were that you sort of didn’t invite people.
My immediate family wasn’t surprised because I’d always said that if I got married again that was how I’d do it. But there were many extended members of our families and friends who were upset. It’s amazing how people can make your special events all about themselves.
I struggle with knowing the best way to raise my multi-racial kids. They are ¼ Japanese, ¼ black American and half white.
We talk a lot about race but I never know if I’m doing things right
I really don’t know that there’s a “right” way to do it. Being multi-racial can be confusing. I think it’s even more difficult in the U.S. than where I come from because here it’s just really common and people are free to identify how they want. In the U.S. I find that people are pressured to “pick a side” instead of just being allowed to define themselves as mixed. It gets even more complicated when you don’t really look like any particular race. I think conversation is the best place to start.
Germany had so much renewable
energy on May 8, 2016, that it had
to pay citizens to use electricity. It
was so windy and sunny that turbines
and solar power sources were
supercharged, output exceeded
demand, and prices went negative, so
customers were actually paid to
consume energy. Source
Some add the “Scientists politely remind world that clean energy is ready to go, whenever” photo im on mobile
Dude. Yes. I am Mexican, but don’t look it (to some), and don’t feel like I can/should weigh in on Mexican issues because I feel removed from the community. I’m not mixed (anymore than most, North American Hispanics are) so I don’t feel I belong there either. ��
Yes, a big part of the issue is appearance, because it has a lot to do with how the world reacts to you and the problems you face. And I don’t want to insert myself into a conversation that doesn’t apply to me. For me there’s a sense of isolation, I suppose, in never seeing myself reflected anywhere, internally or externally. It’s always made me feel like an outsider, but maybe some of us just have to be the people on those spaces.
I need to find a place on tumblr that addresses issues of mixed people. While I identify as Black, I feel very much like an interloper in spaces where Black issues are being addressed because I know I am racially ambiguous in appearance. But spaces that address mixed people often don’t feel like me either because mixed means anything and everything, and there is no cohesion in that save for a sense of otherness and not belonging. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t think that place exists.
I’ve always had bad skin allergic reactions to different sunscreens. The only one I’ve found so far that I don’t have problems with is Aveeno baby sunscreen.
Thanks for letting me know. I think I can actually buy that here.
Me: Man I wish (insert awesome people here) didn’t live so far away. I would totally hang out with them IRL
Self: But you don’t even hang out with tumblr people in your own country.
Me: yeah but… Shut up
We went hiking in the bush today to plant some fruit trees on our land, brought a few friends along to help. Even though it was overcast and raining for the entire day I still managed to get a little sunburnt, which should give you a idea of how much I dodge the sun.
At this point our land is just overgrown rainforest. We have some streams running through and with the rainy season, the growth was really high and very lush. It made penetrating the bush really difficult and Chris got exhausted having to chop his way through with the cutlass (machete) in the steaming, humid jungle.
I got back home completely soaked to the bones, toes and all, and had a hot shower and some Chinese food to replenish my energy. Chris immediately passed out after he ate and I’m nearly there. It’s the good kind of tired. But I’m feeling hungry again. Lemme see if I can sneak out of the bed and not wake him and find something to munch on.
Yeah that sounds like it. It never occurred to me it might be the sunscreen. So now I have to go find a different kind of sunscreen that I won’t be allergic to? Argh.
The first African-American U.S. Navy commissioned officers known as “The Golden Thirteen.”
They are (bottom row, left to right):
Ensign James E. Hare, USNR;
Ensign Samuel E. Barnes, USNR;
Ensign George C. Cooper, USNR;
Ensign William S. White, USNR;
Ensign Dennis D. Nelson, USNR;
(middle row, left to right):
Ensign Graham E. Martin, USNR;
Warrant Officer Charles B. Lear, USNR;
Ensign Phillip G. Barnes, USNR;
Ensign Reginald E. Goodwin, USNR;
(top row, left to right):
Ensign John W. Reagan, USNR;
Ensign Jesse W. Arbor, USNR;
Ensign Dalton L. Baugh, USNR;
Ensign Frank E. Sublett, USNR.
Courtesy of Surface Warfare Magazine, 1982.
Photo Credit: U.S. Naval Historical Center
Black History Album: The Way We Were. 100 Years of African American Vintage Photography from the end of slavery in the 1860′s to the Black Power Movement of the 1960s and beyond.
Tell me your story, I’ll tell you mine… Then either judge me, or disagree with me, or tell me I’m fat and don’t look good for my age or find some solace and inspiration.
Carrie Fisher, introducing her new advice column for The Guardian
“As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, ‘What are you thinking?’ She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over 40 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it’s usually more interesting. Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.”
STORIES THAT WERE TOLD BY PEOPLE SPEAKING LANGUAGES WE NO LONGER KNOW
STORIES TOLD BY PEOPLE LOST TO THE VOID OF TIME
STORIES
I was listening to a report on this on BBC News and they were saying that the earliest version of Cinderella was traced back to China thousands of years ago. So the next time somebody makes a movie of one of those so-called European fairy tales and wants to tell you why its unrealistic to include POC, hand them a piece of this knowledge.
Thursday was a really long day and as we got home at 10 the electricity kinda went. I say kinda cause some of the house was out and some not (same for our neighbors) so we left again hoping it would be back later. No dice. So it was a horrible night. It was warm and very very still. There were mosquitos and I literally fell asleep fanning myself. I maybe slept two or three hours.
It didn’t come back until around 9 the next morning and went again a few times after. I didn’t work and tried to sleep but couldn’t.
So I guess yesterday I was catching up cause I slept all day. Today’s been half the day but it’s rainy so sleep is coming easy.
I have a good book and food. What more could I need.
This is what the tea that was dumped into the Boston Harbor would have looked like. In the 1700s, tea was compressed into planks; a plank this size could last a person roughly a year. They would be bought in sections, and small slivers would be shaved off into the kettle every time somebody wanted to make a cup of tea.
“You’re my favorite,” he said offhand.
“Favorite what?” she wondered aloud.
“Oh, well,” he stammered. “Well, just that. My favorite pair of eyes to look into. My favorite name to see appear on my phone. My favorite way to spend an afternoon. Fill in the blank, Beautiful…I left it at favorite for a reason.”
Our black goldfish (I don’t know what the proper name is) who seemed dead and then resurrected and I was so grateful that I didn’t flush him down the toilet, has finally passed. RIP fishy.
I was calling someone in Miami who was interested in my jewellery and I got their voicemail so I decided to leave a message.
And then I opened my mouth and I heard this Miami accent come out. Y’all who have heard it know what I’m talking about. And I was like wtf? I don’t talk like that. But I thought Miami and next thing you know I’m speaking in the accent.
Apparently my banker decided to handle my internet banking application because he saw my rant about it on Facebook.
So a) they didn’t escalate it to him and b) it’s good to be Facebook friends with your personal banker.
Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, Omar, as his friends and family called him, was a Latino man gunned down at an LGBTQ bar in Orlando last weekend. He was 20-years-old.
Today my dear friend Melinda and I had the sad privilege of attending to his grandmother on our flight as she made her journey to Orlando to join her family during this unspeakable time.
Knowing she was making this hard journey alone, JetBlue employees made sure to be at her side every step of the way. Melinda stood quietly by her wheelchair while we waited until it was time to board. Kellie, the gate agent, boarded with her and helped get her settled. Melinda and I gave her a blanket, a pillow, a box of tissues and water so she could be as comfortable as possible. She was understandably distraught, but met us with kindness and gentleness. And gratitude.
But here’s where our flight got truly inspiring. I had the idea to pass around a piece of paper to everyone on board and invite them to sign it for this grieving grandmother. I talked it over with Melinda and she started the process from the back of the plane. As we took beverage orders, we whispered a heads up about the plan as we went.
Halfway through, Melinda called me, “Kel, I think you should start another paper from the front. Folks are writing PARAGRAPHS.” So I did. Then we started one in the middle. Lastly, running out of time on our hour and fifteen minute flight, we handed out pieces of paper to everyone still waiting.
When we gathered them together to present them to her, we didn’t have just a sheet of paper covered in names, which is what I had envisioned. Instead, we had page after page after page after page of long messages offering condolences, peace, love and support. There were even a couple of cash donations, and more than a few tears.
When we landed, I made an announcement that the company had emailed to us earlier in the morning to use as an optional addition to our normal landing announcement, which states “JetBlue stands with Orlando.” Then with her permission and at the request of a couple of passengers, we offered a moment of silence in Omar’s memory.
As we deplaned, EVERY SINGLE PERSON STOPPED TO OFFER HER THEIR CONDOLENCES. Some just said they were sorry, some touched her hand, some hugged her, some cried with her. But every single person stopped to speak to her, and not a single person was impatient at the slower deplaning process.
I am moved to tears yet again as I struggle to put our experience into words. In spite of a few hateful, broken human beings in this world who can all too easily legally get their hands on mass assault weapons – people ARE kind. People DO care. And through our customers’ humanity today, and through the generosity of this wonderful company I am so grateful to work for, I am hopeful that someday soon we can rally together to make the world a safer place for all.
I will never forget today. #Orlandoproud
JetBlue flight attendant Kelly Davis Karas recounts how passengers on her flight honored the grandmother of Orlando victim (via live-to-the-point-of-tears)
I’ve seen many cruelties in this world, but those are small in comparison to the kind light shown by many. This makes me cry because it shows there is hope for this world.
jane austen was so lit because she wrote about men the way men typically write about women i.e. her stories just centered around women and men were only there for the sake of women, and her books could have been all bitter and sad about the state of women in that century, but instead they’re sweet honest observational stories of friendship, family and love *sighs* what a lady i am sorry i ever doubted you cos I was bored in high school
no seriously her books do not pass the REVERSE bechdel test and it’s perfect
Jane Austen never wrote a single scene without a woman present.
On Tuesday, at the United State of Women Summit in Washington D.C., first lady Michelle Obama sat down with Oprah Winfrey for a wide ranging chat. When the topic turned to what men can do for equality, Obama had two repeating words, “Be better.” She also doled out advice for women and the confusion about “bravery.”
I’ve been following more blogs that post positive news for the sake of my health. It’s not good to be so pissed off all the time. It’s helping. I recommend it.
“By creating the exit, Yousuf estimated that about 70 people were able to get out of the nightclub safely.” He saved 70 people. That’s 70 more people that could have died that night. This is so important.
So over a month ago I had an appointment to set up my internet banking account for my business.
Now I have it set up already for my personal account but for some reason you have to go in, in fucking person, and fill out a bunch of fucking forms and APPLY for it for a business account. Online banking. Something that should be fucking standard with EVERY goddamn account.
THEN after I complete the application they tell me they’ll contact me in three weeks via email. THREE WEEEEEEEEKS!!!!!! What the fuck?
SO ANYWAY… three weeks comes and goes and I call the fucking bank. I speak to someone who takes all the relevant information and tells me they’ll get back to me in three days. Clearly they have something with the number three.
Three days pass and I call again. I bitch out the guy on the other end of the phone and he reassures me that someone will get back to me and I tell him I have zero confidence in that.
Sure enough no one calls me.
I call again today and this time I get someone who actually gives me some explanation.
Guess what? They never received my application.
Oh lovely. So I’ve been yelling into the void.
Well the happy ending to this story is that they guy who set up my credit card machine messaged me today (via Facebook… yeah we apparently have a ton of mutual friends cause he’s also a musician, go figure) and told me he’d handle it. So I’m going in tomorrow and he’s gonna submit the forms for me. He’s been very efficient in the past so I actually feel pretty confident in this.
But seriously I was just about ready to fucking leave that damn bank. God bless you Stanley.
I’m supposed to be making burgers for lunch but I just ate a whole packet of smoked salmon with cream cheese and crackers. Chris should be home around 9. I might just be making one burger.
So on Sunday night my brother and I were texting about travel and where we’re going next and in the middle of the conversation he reminded me that the Tonys were coming on later if I was interested and I smiled and thought about how great it was to have a gay brother.
“A lady yelled out ‘He’s stealing my bike, he’s stealing my bike’,” Borba told CNN. He jumped on his horse that was saddled up in his trailer.
When the suspected thief saw Borba was on his trail he jumped off the bike and started running, according to Eagle Point police. Borba was able to successfully rope the man by the ankles. A photo taken by a bystander showed the roped man on the ground, holding onto a tree.
Chris is supposed to go to the farm this weekend to plant some fruit trees. I told him whichever day he has free to please take me to the pound so I can play with some puppies and kittens. I am in desperate need for some contact with some loving, furry animals. We’re not allowed to have pets in this apartment and I’m suffering.
My name is Bree and I’m a senior in high school. I work with a non
profit in Florida and in light of the recent tragedy we are wanting to
show support. We are asking the community to write hand written letters,
post cards, drawings, poems, etc. of support that will be delivered to
the Pride Center in Orlando, the families, and those recovering in the
hospital.
We ask that you make the letters generic unless you
would like to write to a particular family, please mail your letters to
NVEEE, PO Box 23837 Fort Lauderdale Florida 33307.
As we would like to be able to reach those in their time of need, the due date for the letters is June 26.
UPDATE:
If you are unable to mail in letters, you can email them at info@nveee.org and someone will hand write it for you as it’s much more personal, or you can hand write it and then scan it and email it.
My wife, Zoe, is transgender. She came out to us — the kids and me — last summer and then slowly spread her beautiful feminine wings with extended family, friends, and neighbors.
A little coming out here, a little coming out there — you know how it is.
It’s been a slow, often challenging process of telling people something so personal and scary, but pretty much everyone has been amazing.
However, she dreaded coming out at the office.
She works at a large technology company, managing a team of software developers in a predominantly male office environment. She’s known many of her co-workers and employees for 15 or so years. They have called her “he” and “him” and “Mr.” for a very long time. How would they handle the change?
While we have laws in place in Ontario, Canada, to protect the rights of transgender employees, it does not shield them from awkwardness, quiet judgment, or loss of workplace friendships. Your workplace may not become outright hostile, but it can sometimes become a difficult place to go to every day because people only tolerate you rather than fully accept you.
But this transition needed to happen, and so Zoe carefully crafted a coming out email and sent it to everyone she works with.
The support was immediately apparent; she received about 75 incredibly kind responses from coworkers, both local and international.
She then took one week off, followed by a week where she worked solely from home. It was only last Monday when she finally went back to the office.
Despite knowing how nice her colleagues are and having read so many positive responses to her email, she was understandably still nervous.
Hell, I was nervous. I made her promise to text me 80 billion times with updates and was more than prepared to go down there with my advocacy pants on if I needed to (I might be a tad overprotective).
And that’s when her office pals decided to show the rest of us how to do it right.
She got in and found that a couple of them had decorated her cubicle to surprise her:
And made sure her new name was prominently displayed in a few locations:
They got her a beautiful lily with a “Welcome, Zoe!” card:
And this tearjerker quote was waiting for her on her desk:
To top it all off, a 10 a.m. “meeting” she was scheduled to attend was actually a coming out party to welcome her back to work as her true self — complete with coffee and cupcakes and handshakes and hugs.
NO, I’M NOT CRYING. YOU’RE CRYING.
I did go to my wife’s office that day. But instead of having my advocacy pants on, I had my hugging arms ready and some mascara in my purse in case I cried it off while thanking everyone.
I wish we lived in a world where it was no big deal to come out.
Sadly, that is not the case for many LGBTQ people. We live in a world of bathroom bills and “religious freedom” laws that directly target the members of our community. We live in a world where my family gets threats for daring to speak out for trans rights. We live in a world where we can’t travel to certain locations for fear of discrimination — or worse.
So when I see good stuff happening — especially when it takes place right on our doorstep — I’m going to share it far and wide. Let’s normalize this stuff. Let’s make celebrating diversity our everyday thing rather than hating or fearing it.
Chill out, haters. Take a load off with us.
It’s a lot of energy to judge people, you know. It’s way more fun to celebrate and support them for who they are.
Chris fixed our cable tv. I mean somethings still wrong cause there’s a red light on the modem where there shouldn’t be but it’s working. I celebrated by watching a bunch of trashy reality tv tonight. It was awesome.
After living in Miami Shores for 17 years, and growing vegetables in their front yard for the same amount of time, Tom Carroll and Hermine Ricketts were forced to dig up the garden in front of their home in 2014 when they were threatened by town officials with $50 a day fines if they did not. The threat of fines came only a few months after the Miami Shores Village Council passed a new zoning plan meaning that low-level bureaucrats wasted no time in fanning out amongst residential areas to uproot violators.
The couple is now suing on grounds that the ban on front yard gardens violates the Florida Constitution by imposing improper limits on private property rights as well as violating the equal protection clause. The couple is being represented by lawyers with Institute for Justice, a Libertarian non-profit organization that focuses on free speech and property rights among other issues.
But the politicians and bureaucrats in Miami Shores, however, are not exactly what one would consider reasonable. For instance, Richard Sarafan, argued that the new zoning rule was not irrational and that the couple’s yard should be covered with grass, sod or “living ground cover.” If they want a vegetable garden it should be in the back yard.
What is surprising, however, is that Sarafan would argue that vegetable producing plants are not living ground cover. After all, he and his client were the ones that left “living ground cover” undefined.
Plants are living. They are on the ground. And they cover it.
“There certainly is not [a] fundamental right to grow vegetables in your front yard,” Sarafan said.
Sarafan continued,
Aesthetics and uniformity are legitimate government purposes. Not every property can lawfully be used for every purpose.
Okay, maybe I spoke too soon. Aesthetics and uniformity are legitimate government purposes? What a beautiful world. Nothing sounds better than a world in which everything looks the same and is aesthetically pleasing to the government. It’s also a revolutionary approach of which Sarafan should inform the government. After all their legal battles and semantics to steal property from citizens in the past, they could have just used that “aesthetics and uniformity” clause. It’s so easy, really. It might not exist in the Constitution but so what? Sarafan and Miami Shores says it does, so we can just go with that.
The State is God.
“ Aesthetics and uniformity are legitimate government purposes.
I was just kind of lamenting that my parents didn’t migrate to France instead of Venezuela when I was ten.
I’d have grown up speaking French and been all sophisticated and shit. Granted speaking Spanish is much more useful but still.
For some reason I thought about Kristy.
Kirsty was this Texan girl who came to my school. As in wore cowboy boots to class, Texan. She was tall and blonde and spoke with a drawl and looked like someone who’d grown up on a farm- she was kinda plain and wholesome looking. And entirely out of place in our school that was filled with military and embassy kids who’d been travelling the world since they were two and were for the most part pretty fucking sophisticated.
Kirsty refused to learn to speak Spanish. She just didn’t wanna. And if you know anything about immersion, it’s pretty fucking difficult not to pick up a language when it’s all around you. But somehow she managed. I think she pretty much left Venezuela exactly as she came. Pure Texan.
I was face timing with my niece today. It was her birthday yesterday. She’s six now. She was very busy showing me all her toys. I shall be making her a gold ring with a purple stone per her request.
My electricity is back. I had to inhale two hot dogs so I wouldn’t cut a bitch but I’m now sitting comfortably in the air conditioning hoping my hair will dry within the next two days.
I never ended up working on them. I had some stuff I needed to do on the laptop first and then print out. I didn’t want to freehand it at that stage because I wanted it to be as symmetrical as possible. I could have done some work on it but I just wasn’t able to focus.
Came back and still no damn electricity. I called them again and got the usual runaround. I put away the perishable groceries and I’m just waiting for Chris to get home so he can take me the fuck outta here. It’s been a wasted day. I’m hungry and irritated.
No electricity for the past two hours, I’ve exhausted all my lives in candy crush, it’s hot, I’m probably about to use out all my data, I’m hungry, and I think I’m gonna have to go grocery shopping for entertainment.
Our cable has been out for the past 24 hours. After I cussed out the cable company on their Facebook page a customer service rep called me. The soonest they can get a technician out here is in the next SEVEN days.
Honestly, it’s a good thing I rarely watch tv. We just download or Netflix everything.
soulsistrin 