I got up this morning thinking about the caramel Magnums I have in the freezer. I shouldn’t be eating ice cream for breakfast though right?
Bake Off is not about the money, or even really about the winning. Bake Off is a magical world of bunting and scones and dapper lesbian comedians making ridiculous puns about buns and gentle, worried people getting in a flap about pastry. There are very few hysterics. Legend has it that if anybody has a real breakdown in the middle of a signature bake, presenters Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins stand next to them repeating brand names and swear-words so the cameramen can’t use the footage, and don’t you dare disabuse me of that fact, because I want it to be true.
I am up at 5am because the asshole neighbours downstairs were doing some fuckery that sounded like they were bouncing a basketball outside my window and woke me up. God fuck them so hard.
Nickolas Muray led a fascinating life. The Hungarian émigré opened his own photography studio in New York in 1920 and was soon in high demand by popular magazines for his portraits of the rich and famous, including Frida Kahlo, with whom he had a decade-long affair.
In addition to a successful career as a photographer, he was a member of the U.S. Olympic Fencing Team (1928 and 1932), a pilot during World War II, and an astute collector of Mexican art.
This photograph of Muray in his fencing uniform was taken around 1928 by Edward Steichen. Nickolas Muray papers, 1911-1978. Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution.
If gender is innate, if girls and boys are just naturally different and naturally like different things, want different things, show different behaviors, why do we have to put so much effort, so much work into separating them?
If gender was innate it wouldn’t have to be indoctrinated into anyone. Everyone would naturally pick what they want to pick, and every girl would pick the same thing while every boy would pick the opposite. We would never have to tell any little girl or little boy anywhere, “this is not for you, it’s for boys/girls”.
I’ve always been variously allergic to shellfish but I’ve always been able to manage not dying however I’ve recently gotten to the point that I can’t take two bites and see if my throat swells up (sometimes I’d get no reaction). Now I’m reacting horribly. I stopped eating crab years ago. Now I have to cut shrimp out. Fuck!
I had at really busy day today and in the latter half I had to take my mom to visit my aunt and uncle.
I was kind of stiff at first and then quickly decided just fuck it, I’m not gonna let this thing affect me.
One of my most marked characteristics is that I get over my anger really quickly. I am also very quick to forgive. I used to see those qualities as a weakness. I’d think, why can’t I stay mad! You’ll just take advantage of me if I just move past it!
I’ve read that forgiveness is something you do for yourself. That by definition, it means no longer allowing another person to negatively affect you.
I see those qualities as strengths now. And if it means that someone will try to use them against me well their loss.
I’m not over what my mom did. But I want to live in peace and be happy. And I simply cannot control the outcome of this situation. I have to detach for my own sake. I’m still mad, and also very sad. But I’m not going to wallow in it. My mother is the only parent I have and if I keep holding on to this anger I’m going to look back at it one day as time wasted that I could have spent being happy and enjoying the good things about her. I have already lost one parent. That’s all the perspective I need.
I mailed out this beautiful #raw #aquamarine #ring to Canada today. I’ve never done one in silver before, I quite like it. #jewelry #handmade #trinidad #caribbean
While I was at the gym on the stationary bike yesterday I thought I’d open my kindle app and read to pass the time. I’d forgotten what book I was on and immediately was launched into a gruesome description of the torture and murder of three boys. I was all like WTF until I remembered I was reading a book about forensic pathology. Next time I’ll check before I start reading… you need to be prepared for that kind of thing.
In 2015, Bracey launched Mahogany Blues special dancing apparel company after her friend tipped her off that there were no nudes for people of color. She makes dancewear by hand but now plans to start a mass production because of a growing demand for her leotards. She plans to сreate a greater variety of products including nude bra tops and boy shorts for girls and briefs for boys.
Whitney Bracey is another fantastic Black woman who supports people of color. She offers all necessary facilities for young and ambitious Black people to feel comfortable and to achieve top results in the industry.
A little drawing of Darlene from Mr. Robot (a.k.a. Carly Chaikin who is awesome in the part). Mr. Robot returns tomorrow for a second season and I couldn’t be more excited!
We had a huge bowl of fruit for dinner and I had some mozzarella balls cause protein and now I’m fucking starving cause we went to the gym. So we’re playing the waiting game to see who’ll get up first to make something to eat.
Just wanna highlight the fact that the fastest man and woman in the world are both Jamaican, Usain Bolt and Elaine Thompson. I wanna give Jamaica a shout cause you lot are truly amazing!
This is something I’ve gotten quite a lot in Trinidad (working retail). I am used to it from shoppers but I absolutely detest it from people I know who are in the business of retail and come trying to discredit the prices. Also, that person was very tacky.
Part of what pissed me off was that after she made her comment she started asking questions re what material the bracelet was made of etc. and she had seriously undervalued it. Which made her comment even worse.
Last UpMarket, a girl came over to my table and was interested in my bracelets. She tried on three and decided she wanted all of them and asked me if she would be able to get a discount. I showed her the amount on the calculator and her eyes lit up.
She was still debating which three to get when her friend who had been bouncing from table to table came back. She told her friend that she was taking all three and what her price would be. Her friend then loudly declared, “You should give her another $xx off because I make jewelry too and I know how much these cost!”
All I could muster was a firm, “No,” while panicking internally that I was going to lose the sale and calculating how much more I could afford to take off of the price. Luckily the girl decided she was happy with my cost.
While she was getting out her money the loud friend glanced down at my business card and exclaimed, “Oh! You’re Sundara! I’ve seen you online! I looooooooove your jewelry!” I graciously thanked her and she fell into an awkward silence. I helped her friend arrange the bracelets on her arm and loud girl was very complimentary of how good they looked and they left.
I was sort of sat there reeling afterward. I’ve never had anyone be so rude before. This business is a really tough hustle and most of the people I know are really supportive and very generous toward each other. And we would never undercut or sabotage each other. This girl said she made jewelry too but was asking me to practically give away one of the bracelets for nothing. I also found it really ironic how her attitude toward me changed completely once she realised who I was. She was really young so maybe in her urge to get her friend a good deal she just blurted out her unfiltered opinion. But fuck man. You just don’t fucking do shit like that.
The acoustics in the 400 year old mosque are amazing & notes hang in the air with crystal clarity. The singer is a student from northern Iran visiting Isfahan & had always wanted to sing in the mosque because of its unique acoustic resonance qualities. You have to stand on the tiled square for perfect effect.
All day today I kept catching myself arguing with people in my head. I kept revisiting past hurts or issues and giving the person who hurt me a piece of my mind. I just caught myself doing it again and I realised that it was my mother who triggered me today.
A while ago she did something so that was so thoughtless and hurtful that I can’t even stand to be in the same room as her. I haven’t said anything to her because it’s pointless. She’s a narcissist and never takes responsibility for her actions and always finds a way to turn the blame on me. But as far as I’m concerned she had set our relationship back ten years and I’m basically back in that place where I want nothing to do with her again. All the goodwill and healing that had occurred in our relationship after my father died was wiped out in an instant. This incident had brought back years of deep-seated hurt, resentment, and anger that I had tried to move past. Forgiveness is a lot easier when the other person isn’t being a cunt.
Whatever the case I’ve decided that’s it’s just easier to distance myself and move on with my life. My hopes for healing are just not going to happen. This pain is just something I’m going to have to live with and hopefully it will subside with time. I really envy people who have parents that love and support them. They have no idea how lucky they are.
Can you imagine what it must have been like for Grenada to see their son bring home the country’s first Olympic medal. Like ever. And it was a gold. Jeez!
I feel their joy from here. And the anticipation they must be feeling right now as he gets ready to qualify tonight.
This triggered me, so please use caution when deciding whether or not to read. Ultimately, I found it worth the read, despite the tears and the panic attack. It was vindicating, and this is a subject that absolutely needs to be talked about more.
I just got a ton of workout clothes that I recently ordered so I’m all prepped for the gym.
I’m really enjoying it this time around. I always thought I hated gyms but maybe I didn’t like the gym I was in before. This one is a LOT bigger and sectioned off so that the machines are upstairs and all the cardio stuff is downstairs. I like going there. Plus since I started working out I’ve been feeling extremely energized which I don’t really remember happening last time I had a workout regimen. Whatever. It’s doing good things for me.
For several years Daniel has said I was face blind. I often think I see people I know in random places, when trying to figure out if I know someone, I use their walking gate, their voice, hair, etc. I often joke that there are about only 10 faces of each race/gender.
I honestly just thought everyone looked alike and had multiple dopplegangers.
Anyway I took the test they had up for face blindness. I guessed at almost every question after the first round. In the AMA reddit thread the scientist said anything under 60 was face blindness, and with how many guesses I made, I think the 63 was simple luck.
I guess what I’m saying is, this thread is super interesting, and please don’t be mad if I don’t recognize you out of context.
I’m going to have to take this when I have time today. I’ve always suspected I’ve got mild face blindness, and that’s why I’ve always been drawn to interesting features. The Channing Tatum/Chris Hemsworth/Chris Pine boring ass faces confuse me and I couldn’t pick them out of a line up or picture their faces now. From this I’ve also learned that a boring (conventionally “good looking”) face a lot of times equals boring person (not all the time but quite often). Faces with character are way more appealing than those without (as I’m sure you all have probably deduced from my celeb crush list I’m sure).
Saving for later. At my old work, people would come back after 20 minutes to pick up their shirt they’d ordered and I’d often not recognize them at all. Also hate when people get new glasses.
Okay, I did the test, and I found it sooooooo mentally exhausting. Especially the last one with the N Sync lookalikes. As soon as they lost their hair/facial hair I had absolutely no idea which faces I’d seen. Yet somehow I got 73. But I’m pooped.
OMG I thought the same thing about the last one (both of them being NSync lookalikes and it being so super exhausting). I was hoping every time I clicked on a face it would tell me I was done.
Anyway, I got 94 out of 114, so I guess my theory of having some kind of face blindness is way off. The last group was basically all guesses, though, and I swear to god some of them presented the same three faces so I just picked the middle one.
I guess some faces just bore me? Now I have to figure this out, because I am SHOCKED at my results.
85 out of 114. I think I probably would have done better on a computer instead of my phone. That last section was rough, though.
I got 93/114. I think I was doing really good until that last part and then it was all guesswork from then on.
Tony Porter: A Call To Men "Tony is the original visionary and co-founder behind A CALL TO MEN: The
National Association of Men and Women Committed to Ending Violence
Against Women. He is the author of "Well Meaning Men...Breaking Out of
the Man Box - Ending Violence Against Women" and the visionary for the
book, NFL Dads Dedicated to Daughters.
Tony's message of accountability is welcome and supported by many
grassroots and established organizations. He’s currently working with
numerous domestic and sexual violence programs, the National Football
League, the National Basketball Association, colleges and universities
around the country. He has worked with the United States Military
Academy at West Point and the United States Naval Academy at Annapolis.
Tony is an international lecturer for the U.S. State Department having
worked in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, United Kingdom and
Brazil. In addition, he has been a guest presenter for the United
Nations' Commission on the Status of Women and has been a script
consultant for Law & Order: Special Victims Unit." - (x)
I bought myself a moleskine sketchbook. I didn’t need it but I decided once and for all to see what the hype was all about. I’m 43, I don’t have time for solvable mysteries anymore I need to know now.
That ring I posted a picture of today? The one with the thick copper band? The last time I got an order for one of those l, I made (and fucked up) about four before I got one I could use. This time around I made it correctly on my first try.
Wide band rings can be hard because the seams have to be perfect and with so much surface that has to meet correctly, it’s easy to not align properly or not get solder everywhere it needs to be. The ends especially have to be properly soldered because when you flare the band after, if there’s a weakness it’s gonna split. And it’s not an easy fix, if it even can be fixed.
Anyway the point was that practice really does make perfect and it’s great to see that something that used to be so challenging for me before has gotten a lot easier. Progress happens even when you don’t notice it.
With an Olympic record tie in the 100m freestyle, 16-year old Penny Oleksiak became the first Canadian to ever win four medals in a single summer Olympics, while 20-year-old Simone Manuel became the first black woman in Olympic history to earn an individual swimming gold medal: “It means a lot [to be the first black woman to earn gold in the pool]. I mean, this medal is not just for me. It’s for a whole bunch of people that came before me and have been an inspiration to me. Maritza [Correia], Cullen [Jones], and it’s for all the people after me, who believe they can’t do it. And I just want to be inspiration to others that you can do it.”
We’ve received a fair number of asks about redemption arcs for racists over the years, and I thought it was important to discuss this. My answer isn’t aimed solely at this ask, but rather the broad question of “How do I write a redemption arc for my racist character?”
My biggest issues with racist character redemption arcs are:
(1) characters of color are almost always just object lessons for racist people, which is dehumanizing and unnecessary.
(2) the target audience is almost always white people and they have enough media that focuses on them.
(3) it sidelines characters of color in order to give a larger space to privileged, racist characters, which leads to privileged racist people continuing to think their narratives are more valuable to the world at large.
(4) readers who are privileged don’t get the opportunity to identify with (and learn empathy for) a character of color but instead identify solely with a previously-racist-but-now-redeemed character and erroneously believe getting kudos or cookies from real life POC is more important than actually dismantling real world racism and white supremacist structures.
The mods at WWC have a limited amount of time and energy to devote to answering asks. *I* have a limited amount of time and energy. I would much rather spend that energy on asks that are about promoting realistic and appropriate depictions of characters of color, rather than continuing to sideline them to focus on racist characters. I’m not saying that people should never write racist characters or redemption for them, but I *am* saying that those characters almost never result in positive, real-life affirmations for real people of color.
I am here for marginalized people, people who don’t get to see themselves represented because of something as simple as the color of their skin, the country of their ancestors’ birth, the shape of their eyes or noses. I am here for people who have silenced and erased, sometimes violently, for daring to exist. I am here for people who have been told that they are unimportant because of white supremacy and colonialism. I want to advocate for those people because those are my people, too.
I am not here to devote more of myself into putting privileged people into the spotlight or help them persist in their belief that becoming a “White Savior” is how to be an ally. So, I have to say thanks but no thanks to redemption arcs for racists. I think your energy, and mine, could be better spent elsewhere.
~ mod Stella
There’s a certain piece of writing advice that can be pretty controversial, because on the surface it sounds cynical and unrealistic.
That piece of advice is, “Abusers don’t get redemption arcs.”
Now, I am well aware that it’s humanly possible for abusers to become decent human beings. The problem is, in fiction, these arcs do not show the nuance required to make it believable. Too often, the redemption arc is “oh, look at this person who never understood, now they do and they’re all better.”
That doesn’t mean the damage they did is erased (which is often the situation in these narratives); that doesn’t mean they were even a little bit right (“cool motive, still murder”); and that doesn’t mean they will be forgiven.
Racism is a type of abuse.
In a society that already forces abuse victims to always give benefit of the doubt, always forgive, always be kind, never be spiteful or fearful or mistrusting— what is the value of having another narrative that people can use to “prove” abusers can get better? Sure, it happens, but when the cultural weight already sides heavily with ‘reconcile with those who hurt you’, why continue forcing victims to do what some of us don’t want to?
People change, sure. Abusers learn the errors of their ways, sure. But where are the victims in all this? Where are their voices about the pain and anguish and trauma that racism, that abuse, has caused them? Where is the acceptance of their anger and mistrust? Where are the narratives that validate victims for cutting people off no matter how much they might be different, now, because the past pain is too much?
My first time making creme brûlée. I used my jewelry torch to burn the sugar (of course) and served immediately after. I have to say it was excellent! #yummy #dessert #finallyusedmyramekins #girlcancook
Christ almighty I am tired. I made my creme brulee today. It’s cooling in the fridge while dinner is cooking. I haven’t done the burnt sugar on the top yet cause you’re supposed to do it right before you serve it.
Chris is getting a haircut. Today’s been a really long, really busy day, and I was just taking care of my business. I cannot imagine how people who have children handle life. I would collapse after two days of it.
I finally found some more of the fresh cow’s milk I need to make cheese. I haven’t been able to get any in months. So when I find some time so in gonna make some more cheese! The last batch was great.
I can’t get home sharing to work on my iPhone. It used to work fine on my (now dead) iPad but for some reason apple keeps taking things that work well and fucking them up so I’m gonna have to stream some Netflix to keep this fucking noise down.
I was in a really good mood this morning. Now I’m feeling really pissy.
They’re working on the ever-vacant house next door and they’re using something like a generator or large power tool that is making a tremendous amount of noise. It’s starting to feel like it’s boring a hole in my brain and I am literally starting to feel sick. I’m gonna see if noise cancelling headphones will help. I have a lot of studio work to do today (and the house is ten feet from my window) and I cannot work with this kind of racket and I cannot put off what I have to do. Fuck me.
I feel really stupid, whats wrong with the term hearing impaired?
Don’t feel stupid. Most of the Deaf community dislike being called hearing impaired because the word “impaired” we feel implies something is broken and needs to be fixed. The Deaf community doesn’t want to be fixed and we are happy with it.
Doctors and audiologists, who insist on fixing the problem, rather than
working towards a common understanding, are part of the problem. We consider these words outdated and offensive, as well as with ‘deaf-mute’ or ‘deaf and dumb.’
Can you explain why you would prefer to be deaf rather than capable of hearing? I’m genuinely curious
Ah, it’s hard to explain. I think it’s because we are already deaf and our Deafness defines who we are. We are familiar with it. We’re used to it.
So this evening Chris showed me this new alarm clock he got and I’m like cool and he’s like no that’s not all it projects the time onto the ceiling. So I’m like you’re fucking kidding and he goes no look and we turn off all the lights and there’s the fucking time on the ceiling and for some reason it struck me as really hilarious and I can’t stop laughing at it. Like its cool but so fucking ridiculous too that even now I can’t look up or I’ll start laughing and he’s sleeping so lemme try not to wake him up.
I work in a decent sized, local, indie bookstore. It’s a great job 99% of the time and a lot of our customers are pretty neat people. Any who, middle of the day this little old lady comes up. She’s lovably kooky. She effuses how much she loves the store and how she wishes she could spend more time in it but her husband is waiting in the car (OH! I BETTER BUY HIM SOME CHOCOLATE!), she piles a bunch of art supplies on the counter and then stops and tells me how my bangs are beautiful and remind her of the ocean (“Wooooosh” she says, making a wave gesture with her hand)
Ok. I think to myself. Awesomely happy, weird little old ladies are my favorite kind of customer. They’re thrilled about everything and they’re comfortably bananas. I can have a good time with this one. So we chat and it’s nice.
Then this kid, who’s been up my counter a few times to gather his school textbooks, comes up in line behind her (we’re connected to a major university in the city so we have a lot of harried students pass through). She turns around to him and, out of nowhere, demands that he put his textbooks on the counter. He’s confused but she explains that she’s going to buy his textbooks.
He goes sheetrock white. He refuses and adamantly insists that she can’t do that. It’s like, $400 worth of textbooks. She, this tiny old woman, bodily takes them out of her hands, throws them on the counter and turns to me with a intense stare and tells me to put them on her bill. The kid at this point is practically in tears. He’s confused and shocked and grateful. Then she turns to him and says “you need chocolate.” She starts grabbing handfuls of chocolates and putting them in her pile.
He keeps asking her “why are you doing this?” She responds “Do you like Harry Potter?“ and throws a copy of the new Cursed Child on the pile too.
Finally she’s done and I ring her up for a crazy amount of money. She pays and asks me to please give the kid a few bags for his stuff. While I’m bagging up her merchandise the kid hugs her. We’re both telling her how amazing she is and what an awesome thing she’s done. She turns to both of us and says probably one of the most profound, unscripted things I’ve ever had someone say:
“It’s important to be kind. You can’t know all the times that you’ve hurt people in tiny, significant ways. It’s easy to be cruel without meaning to be. There’s nothing you can do about that. But you can choose to be kind. Be kind.”
The kid thanks her again and leaves. I tell her again how awesome she is. She’s staring out the door after him and says to me: “My son is a homeless meth addict. I don’t know what I did. I see that boy and I see the man my son could have been if someone had chosen to be kind to him at just the right time.”
I’ve bagged up all her stuff and at this point am super awkward and feel like I should say something but I don’t know what. Then she turns to me and says: I wish I could have bangs like that but my darn hair is just too curly.“ And leaves.
And that is the story of the best customer I’ve ever had. Be kind to somebody today.
I have it all the time now, four months and counting. Inner ear thing apparently. Look up the Epley Maneuver – a series of movements that can help reseat the crystals in the inner ear that get dislodged and float around causing vertigo. They apparently control our relationship to gravity?
It seems to have worked!!!! I was crazy dizzy in the second position, the whole room was spinning but after that I was fine. Got up and walked around and I feel pretty normal now I think. Gonna lay down for a bit and get up just to make sure. Thanks so much this is a amazing!
I woke up this morning with vertigo. I got out of bed to use the bathroom and found myself hitting every wall in the corridor on the way there. It’s sort of coming and going but any movement I make is making me dizzy.
I used to get it a lot as a child and a teenager but it rarely happens now as an adult. I don’t know what brings it on. But I guess taking that yoga class this morning would probably be a bad idea… *sigh*
It’s like millennials do not understand that middle east has been at war for 1000′s of years. That we intervened on behalf of Kuwait. That without “bombing” people that want to kill and oppress others, millions will be murdered and tortured.
“at war for 1000′s of years”
you clearly know nothing about Afghanistan nor the middle east
It’s interesting to note that when the communist government came to power in Afghanistan in the late 70′s, one of the first things they did was declare equality of the sexes, made education for girls mandatory, & banned child marriages. The conservative tribal leaders who the US armed & funded (& who later became the Taliban) declared this to be a “war on Islam” & fought against the central government.
The US had no problem back then with encouraging the growth of Islamic conservatism to counter socialism/communism. You created your biggest enemy & you have no one to blame but yourselves.
So for the 25th anniversary of “Hook,” they got all is Lost Boys back together after 25 years! Rufio, Thudbutt, Pockets and the whole crew! Bangarang!!!
I woke up this morning just ravenous. Chris is taking me for sushi buffet this evening and that’s all I wanna eat from now. I can’t decide what to have in the interim. Steups.
soulsistrin 