I’ve decided I’m gonna get a cat. Cause I ain’t cool living with rodents around here. Part of it has to be the weather and the other part of it I blame it on the filthy neighbours next door whose property looks like a junk yard. That’s why we had to get a cat the first time. Well to the pound I shall go. I’m gonna have to get an adult kitty.
I know I told this story before but last year I was having complications with a surgery and I just broke down in a public place and I was trying to gather myself, sitting and leaning on a wall when this girl in cowboy boots approached me and sat down and she asked what was wrong and I told her it was medical issues and she said “I understand, I have to have my foot amputated next week” and it shocked me out of crying and I was like “wow that sucks!” And she said “yeah.” And then she just touched my arm so tenderly and told me “I promise you that this problem will have its place, and everything is going to work out.” And the way she said it just made me really believe her. She said. “We’re just gonna have to cowgirl up.” And then she stood up and walked away and I’d call that a genuine encounter with an angel but the truth is there is a lot of goodness right here on earth in humanity and it’s shining and pure.
Okay but “this problem will have its place” is genuinely inspiring
THAT REALLY STRUCK ME because I’ve always hated the tired rhetoric of “this happened for a reason” and this feels like a more genuine, comforting take on that. Not “it happened for a reason,” but “this will find its spot in your life and your future that it fits into in a way that will eventually work out even though it sucks that it happened.” Love that.
My natural inclination toward other human beings is to be cautious. I’ve been like that since I was a little child. Watch, observe, be cautious. I am probably a little less so now than I was when I was younger because you think at a certain point that you have better judgement and can read people.
And these past few days I’ve been thinking how I was right all along to be that way. I’m upset about something and I need distance and the worst thing is they’re all up in my grill and won’t give me my fucking space. Jesus why do people have to pull and tug at you that way? Why is it when you let them close they inevitably do something that breaks the rules for you?
I’m crawling back into my cave and shutting the door. Honestly aside from my husband there’s like 2-3 other people on the planet whose company I actively seek. I could leave the rest behind. I am very happy just having myself for company.
I usually walk everywhere with my headphones on, but I had them in my bag and I was reading a book on my phone instead (I do that when the foot traffic is light). A young Latina was coming down the street as I was coming up the avenue, and when she got to the corner a few paces ahead of me, she turned to walk in the direction I was going. We were traveling at the same speed, but since she was like ten paces ahead and it’s bright outside in the middle of the day, I didn’t feel the need to fall back or slow down to give her more space. At night, I try not to walk too close behind women just so they don’t feel like I’m any sort of threat.
We got to a corner and this dude standing outside of the bodega was like, “Slow down mama where you goin? You don’t have to work today, you can stop and speak.”
She didn’t break her stride. “I’m going to the gym.” The Walk sign was on, so I didn’t break mine either.
A block later, a young guy was coming toward us on the sidewalk riding his bike.
“What’s good shorty?”
She didn’t respond.
“Well you was lookin, you can say something, stuck up bitch.”
We kept walking.
In the middle of the next block, an older man was walking toward us and he put on a friendly smile and said, “Smile young lady, it’s a beautiful day.”
I don’t know if she smiled, but we kept walking. She went into the gym and I kept on toward where I was going thinking about how that was just five minutes of her day. How many other blocks of five minutes are just like that?
Only one of them was truly aggressive. The other two guys seemed nice enough and it felt more like a pleasant compliment. It felt like the kind of thing a guy says who argues with women online about catcalling. “We’re not all bad guys. We can’t even compliment women? We can’t even say something nice?”
No. You really can’t. I was annoyed in that five minutes and I just happened to be walking behind her with no headphones on. Can you imagine those five minutes over and over every day of your life? Nobody wants to be spoken to by strangers day in and day out forever regardless of what they’re saying.
So no. You can’t say anything. The quality of your life has not decreased because you aren’t allowed to say nice things to strange women on the sidewalk, but your silence greatly increases the quality of hers. So just be quiet, and let her go where she’s going.
Right? I have beat my head into the wall on FB with this point. I kept quiet for 35 years about my ex abuser but if his ass was about to get the most powerful position in the courts, you bet your ass I’d speak up. Fuck those haters.
I actually wrote this after I saw what people wrote on your fb post. I didn’t think that was the place to express this opinion because it seemed pointless and I was not interested in engaging in a debate with anyone. But I just got frustrated at people bringing this up as a point to discredit her.
Apparently in Republicans’ minds, only people who support their Republican agenda can be raped IRL? ����♂️ It makes zero sense but that’s all I got ����♂️
They’re willing to excuse anything. No one questions rape victims of the catholic church for holding their silence for 50 years…
Little mouse apparently spent the night in our room. I saw him trying to get out this morning so I opened the door again and finally he went out. I had to let him out of the house too. He was honestly really cute. If he’d been a rat it would be a different story. But yeah still I don’t really need up be cohabitating with mice no matter how cute they are.
I saw that happen a lot when I was in art school, mainly painters who weren’t that strong imitating their professors. It’s frustrating, and outside of school disrespectful. Hopefully as she continues to grow she will find her own groove.
Well she did it again, sent me a photo of another ring she made that looks a lot like others I’ve done. I didn’t even bother to reply. I’m pissed now.
I don’t understand why people are doubting the credibility of Christine Blasey Ford because she’s chosen to speak up now. Oh it’s politically motivated.
Yeah? AND?
If my rapist were running for supreme court you bet your ass I’d speak up. People need to know what kind of person he is. He’ll be influencing law for possibly another generation. YES I’d drag my ass out of the rock I live under and come forward. Yes there’s a fucking political motivation behind it. TO NOT LET A RAPIST SIT ON THE HIGHEST COURT OF THE LAND.
Also I’ve decided I want to grow my hair down to my ass.
I probably won’t. My hair already gives me headaches sometimes depending on how I wear it. But it sounds like a fun goal. I really like it this length, longer would only look better.
I’m blogging at 3am cause when we got home I found a mouse in the bedroom. I’m totally not someone who freaks out about shit like that. Mice gotta live too. I think I actually saw him a few days ago outside. Anyway he was trying to get out. So I left the door open for him. And I’m waiting for him to realise he can leave so I can close it and go to sleep. I don’t care where he goes but I’m thinking a cat might be a good idea.
I have a dinner to go to do I spent a long leisurely time drying my hair, doing my makeup and picking out clothes and now I’m starving. Do I eat? Do I wait? Do I just sit here looking fabulous? Decisions decisions.
The smell of the earth just after it rains. Babies, puppies. Fresh laundry. Coffee. Baking bread. Garlic and butter. Sandalwood. J’Adore. Pine forests. Lillies. Mango. Cinnamon. Chocolate.
That’s what they say about imitation… the whole supposed flattery thing, but it pisses me off. I get what you’re saying and agree. I’d be irritated, too.
Honestly it feels like a bit of a betrayal. She wouldn’t have been able to make that ring if it hadn’t been for my instruction and guidance. She then asked me if I was upset about it. I was more surprised, which I told her. So she responded that she would keep it for herself and not sell it. But then why make it at all? The ring I made was inspired by someone else’s piece but looks NOTHING like it.
My friend who I am taking to the movies today is also a jeweler like myself although with less skill and experience. I taught her how to make resin jewelry, how to solder, I’ve supported her a lot.
Yesterday she showed me a ring that was almost an exact replica of one I made a few weeks ago, and said that she didn’t realise how much they looked alike until it was finished. I know she looks up to me and emulates me and I know they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Also I don’t own the design she can make anything she wants. But like, really?
It’s basically a sort of unspoken rule that we try not to tread on each other’s turf in the little jewelry making world we inhabit here. There’s no way to accidentally make a ring like someone else’s either… rings don’t come together haphazardly you have to plan it out. I’m not mad I’m just kind of annoyed. I’ve taught her so much and she rewards me by copying my work? Sigh. Whatever. It just feels like a disrespect to me but I also think she was just really inspired to create something like what I made. She’s generally very creative in her own right. I just wish she would distance herself a bit design-wise. I’m irritated.
19. Get nostalgic: what do you miss that reminds you of a happy time in your past?
I had a really happy childhood, riding bikes around the neighborhood, climbing trees, just doing lots of boy stuff cause I grew up in a neighbourhood with only boys. I miss the close relationship I had with my brother. Miss our dad playing games with us (the man would NEVER let us win), going to the beach every weekend, arriving home to Mom taking a cake out of the oven. Our family life back then was mostly really happy.
I also miss my teens when Chris and I were first together. From the minute I arrived in Trinidad it seemed like it was nonstop activity, us and all his friends, going out every night, driving all over the place…we had some really wonderful times. We still see them but of course life is never as carefree as it was when you were young.
18. What are your wishes for your body after you pass? Do you want a funeral, wake, visitation? Burial, cremation, or something else? Does your family know your wishes? Do you have a will?
I’ve told my husband what I would like. I’m not crazy about the idea of burial, I’d prefer to be cremated. It just seems like a more free spirited approach.
As for funeral and stuff, honestly I’d like my friends and loved ones to get together and have a party. A cool jam session where people could trade stories and memories and just not be inundated by grief or sadness. I could have a quiet room off the side for those who need it. But I don’t want a funeral. That’s not my style.
I made a date with one of my girlfriends to take her to the zoo tomorrow. She’s been really depressed for a while now, and I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to spend with her these past couple of months. I know she’s been really looking forward to it, but the weather’s been horrible the past two days, we have some kind of a system affecting us. And I’m afraid I might have to cancel. I’m gonna ask her if she wants to see a movie instead. I’d hate to just do nothing. I know she needs the outing. Depression, husband problems, money worries, she’s drowning in it. I can’t let her down.
London, England – “The
South Sea Company did not trade in fish,” says Alice Procter, as she
shows visitors around Queen’s House, a maritime museum in Greenwich,
southeast London. “They traded in something far more valuable to the
English monarchy – slaves.”
The 23-year-old Australian art historian
is behind the “Uncomfortable Art Tours”, a series of museum visits in
the capital exploring history with a twist.
She focuses on what she describes as
racist narratives and an ideology that underpins the objects displayed
in European exhibitions from the colonial period, which isn’t always
mentioned.
One of my retailers always seems so alarmed whenever of my silver jewelry shows a hint of tarnish. Like it’s permanent or something. I just want to tell her to just throw it in some warm soapy water and wipe it down with a cloth. If you’re selling jewelry you should know that it needs polishing every now and then. Instead I just take it from her and do it myself cause just.. whatever.
I’m in love with these beautiful rose cut tourmalines 😍 These gorgeous stacking rings are available by custom order. Wear one alone or several together as a gorgeous statement piece. Colours available are pink, yellow, green and limited quantities of blue. .
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#handmadejewelry #uniquejewelry #beautiful #fashionjewelry #TT #buylocal #trinidad #caribbean #caribbeanlife #artisan #forher #sundara #customjewelry #artisanjewelry #handmade #sundarajewelry #rosecut #rings #tourmaline #goldfilled https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn1b17ln7Lk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1uesizfo3e8v2
Yeah several I think. I’m a member of the tumblr community, in particular my little corner of people my age-ish who reside here.
I’m part of the artistic community where I live. I’m not really as involved in it as much as I used to be but I still feel like I belong.
I’m part of the community of people who own small businesses and sell their hand crafted goods at markets. I really love that community because everyone is so supportive of one another, there’s so much camaraderie. It feels like we’re a family.
Abusers don’t hit you on the first date. They don’t write “I will humiliate and belittle you” on their Tinder profiles. They don’t wear “I break things to intimidate my partner” t-shirts. People don’t get trapped in damaging relationships because they saw an abuser coming from 20 yards away and decided “I’m going to date that person anyway”. That’s not how any of this works.
In the beginning, abusers can be some of the most thoughtful, attentive people you’ll ever meet. They’re obsessed with you; that’s what makes them so toxic and deadly as time goes on. Abusers buy you flowers. They remember your birthday. They remember to text you “good morning” and “good night”. They listen to your problems, confide in you and share silly inside jokes. They can keep that “loving, doting partner and best friend” mask in place for months or years if they have to.
So the first time they scream at you or hit you, you don’t see an abuser. You see your best friend, your confidante, the person who brought you soup when you were sick and always laughs at your stories about your nutty coworker. You tell yourself they just had a bad day. Maybe they were tired, sick, hungry, or under a lot of stress. You know them. You’ve made a life with them. And they’re so sorry and so ashamed of what they did. This isn’t who they are.
And so things go back to back to normal for a while. Wonderful, even. This is still one of the best relationships you’ve ever been in, even counting that one incident. You go back to date nights, cozy nights in and 5-hour-long conversations that feel effortless.
And then it happens again.
And you still don’t see an abuser. You see the person who means the most to you in the whole world. You decide that maybe they’re just struggling. Maybe they have mental health issues. They’ve told you every horrible thing that’s ever happened to them as a child, and maybe it has something to do with that. But either way, they’re not an abuser. Not yet. They’re just a person who needs you more than ever.
Then things are good for a while. Then something bad happens. Then it’s good again. Then it’s bad. Good. Bad. Good. Bad. And every time it happens, it gets a little harder to get out. The time you’ve invested in the relationship goes up, and your self-esteem goes down. By the time you realize that, yes, the person you thought you knew is an Abuser with a capital A, you’re in deep. You’re a frog that stood in a pot of water so long it turned you into soup before you even noticed it was getting a little warm. But you didn’t ask for this. And you certainly didn’t know it was coming.
We have this image in our heads of what abusers must look like. We picture brawny men with low foreheads and stained white tank tops, screaming at their wives while they drink beer in front of the TV. We think they’re like wildlife, as if we could spot them with the help of a guidebook and know to stay far away from them. But they’re not. Abusers can be anyone. They can be female. They can be accomplished. They can be well-groomed. Queer. Politically far-left. Politically far-right. Artists. Athletic. Charitable. Intelligent. They can come from any walk of life, any spot on the gender spectrum, any religion, any background. It’s not the abused person’s fault for not spotting them – they can’t always be spotted. It’s the abuser’s fault for abusing.
I made something pretty today! Actually I’ve been working on them for the past few days because I couldn’t get the settings right. But I finished them tonight. I’m not ready to post them on instagram yet because I haven’t figured out a price. But I wanted to share!
I just ran into someone I know and I don’t know what to make of her appearance. Her face just looked really strange. She’s always had sort of odd features, a really tiny upturned little triangle of a nose and very large prominent cheekbones that always made her look like she’d had work done. But I’ve known her since I was in my early teens so it’s unlikely. But now her nose somehow looks even smaller, her face has a really strange waxy look. But more than anything it was her complexion that looked really disturbing. It looks like she’s been bleaching her skin. She looks like a ghost. She’s fair to begin with I don’t really know why she’d do that. I’m hoping that it’s not that she’s sick or something. But it was quite startling. I blurted out the wrong name when I said hi to her and quickly scuttled away I was so perturbed. Argh.
I’ve been working on taking better care of my hands in the studio and it shows. My nails are growing back, they’re nice and clean and no longer look like they belong to a vagrant. Then yesterday I was picking up a plastic tray with some seedlings and the edge cut my finger and I’ve been in agony ever since. All the chemicals and fire and power tools I deal with every day and I’ve been felled by the equivalent of a paper cut. The bloody irony.
16. Sunday Funday. When do you have the most fun in your life?
Probably when I’m hanging out with my girlfriends. There’s something about being surrounded by female energy that just relaxes me and puts me at ease and somehow whatever we end up doing or talking about just always ends up being fun. Lots of laughter. I have a zoo date with a gf coming up on Wednesday and I’m really looking forward to that.
One of the most pernicious modern myths about motherhood is that having kids will damage your career. Women are told that we need to choose between our jobs or our children, or that we’ll spend our most productive work years “juggling” or performing a “balancing act.”
For those of us uninterested in circus tricks, a bit of perspective: It’s not actually motherhood or kids that derail women’s careers and personal ambitions — it’s men who refuse to do their fair share.
If fathers did the same kind of work at home that mothers have always done, women’s careers could flourish in ways we haven’t yet imagined. But to get there, we need to stop framing mothers’ workplace woes as an issue of “balance,” and start talking about how men’s domestic negligence makes it so hard for us to succeed.
I think my first concert was a Cyndi Lauper concert. Well not that’s not true my first concert would have been any one of the local pop artists but I remember this one because there back in those days very few American acts came to Caracas. She was a few years past her pinnacle and we, like most others probably just went for the novelty. The audience was disgraceful. They lit a bonfire in the middle of what would have been the pit. Someone threw a shoe at her. She handled it like a champ. I felt so ashamed. Venezuelans have some weird habits. I’ve been to more than one movie where the audience protested whatever was happening on screen by pelting rolls of toilet paper. Endless. All over the theater until everyone was covered. It was my first and worst concert.
My best concert was probably Lollapalooza ‘92. I could probably write a book about that day. I’d just graduated high school and moved to Miami for college. All these huge bands that we’d been listening to for the past year were performing. I went with a group of my high school friends who were all in Miami for the summer. We saw Pearl Jam, Porno for Pyros, Rage Against the Machine, Cypress Hill, STP, Temple of the Dog, Ice T, Ice Cube, Soundgarden, Lush, Jesus and Mary Chain, Ministry and of course the headliners, Red Hot Chili Peppers.
We had an amazing day. It kind of blew all of our minds to see these bands live, they were all the biggest acts at the time. I ended up losing my friends toward the end and spent the rest of the concert with a couple of really cool guys, two huge burly dudes who had come down from New York to take in the concert and basically rescued me from the pit of the Chili Peppers where we were all being crushed by the overzealous fans. We took in the rest of the show up on a hill and they walked me back to meet my friends in case I didn’t find them (I did). I went to a lot of concerts back in my college days, but this one stands out as my best.
I’d also have to give special mention to that Junior Gong concert I went to in 2006 with my buddy Gary. That album got me through a rough time and it was really great to see him perform it live.
When you don’t read the listing properly you sometimes end up with… silver bracelets! This was quite a happy accident as my customers have asked me for silver bracelets in the past. Well here they are, these beautiful sterling silver and agate bangles. You like? .
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#handmadejewelry #uniquejewelry #beautiful #fashionjewelry #TT #buylocal #trinidad #caribbean #caribbeanlife #artisan #forher #abstract #sundara #customjewelry #artjewelry #artisanjewelry #sundarajewelry #agate #bracelets #sterlingsilver #handmade https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnt0C9Snmr1/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1k228n11x76qr
I was bidding on some gemstones on ebay the past couple of days, the auction is ending tonight. I ended up making an arrangement with my gem guy (heh my gem guy) for a similar listing thinking I’d just let that other one go and that I lost out. And I just checked it and the price went through the ROOF. It’s the SAME stones too. Same size, same cut, colour, shape, and almost the same amount. Looks like I lucked out in the end.
I caught a little light show this evening. There was no thunder just pretty flashes in the clouds. The one at the end is the best. You can hear the neighbours starting to exclaim, they were taking it in too.
I’m the SAME exact way about the vendors I have. It’s like a locked top secret supplier. ��
People in general tend to keep their gemstone and bead suppliers top secret. I have no problem telling anyone where I buy my metal but I’m not sharing that info lol.
I think I might have my very own gemstone guy. In that I seem to have created a business relationship with this dude who I bought some pieces from and he’s will to sell to me directly instead of through Etsy and lob off their commission and give me discounted prices. I can’t say this doesn’t make me happy. Except he was all like, make sure if you have friends who need stones to tell them about me! Yeah no, you’re mine buddy.
Not a lot, to be honest. I haven’t really had that feeling since I was pretty young. There are circumstances that make people feel safe, and people that make people feel safe. Those circumstances that once made me feel safe are no more. Where people are concerned, I don’t really seek safety there, people are just human and they can’t always be depended on. It’s a theme in my life, this lack of feeling safe or secure. It’s tough, but it’s made me more self reliant. So maybe what makes me feel safe (as much as I can at any rate) is me. I don’t really like exploring this topic.
I forgot how fragile turquoise was… I was trying to cram this one stone into the bezel today that just WOULD NOT FIT and broke it into about five pieces. Oh well it was giving me beans
Positive vibrations have just been sent to you. They are now travelling into your eyes, through your brain, and towards the very core of your being. As they move through you, they cleanse everything left in their path. Everything is left pure.
12. How would you like to be remembered when you die?
Hm. Well that’s a heavy one. On a personal level I’d like to be remembered for my personality, someone who brings joy, always has something to contribute to the conversation, for my full bodied laughter, as a good friend, as a loving and supportive wife, and generally as someone who people felt made their world just a bit better for having me in it. I’d like to be thought of in that way.
On a professional level I’d like to be thought of as a success, someone at the pinnacle of my field, having received acclaim and recognition for my beautiful creations. Not an easy feat in a saturated field like mine, but given my competitive nature, I’d like to be the most successful jewelry designer in Trinidad at the very least. That’s very do-able quite frankly and if I accomplish that then the entire Caribbean next. But yes that’s the goal.
Tonight I got a closer look into someone’s life and it really made me thankful for mine. It was quite sobering to be honest. I have a lot to be grateful for.
I did barely two hours of work today (in the studio) and I realised I was starving so I stopped for lunch around 4pm and the next thing I knew I had passed out on the bed while listening to an audiobook. My hormones are seriously kicking my ass this month I guess. I woke up a couple hours later and realised I wasn’t going back into the studio so I got up and took a shower.
On days like this I just cut myself some slack. Because I worked through the weekend and my body obviously just needs some rest. I have some orders to finish which I worked on today and they’ll be done by tomorrow. The rest of what I’m working on is just pet projects. It’s nice to have a little time to do that. I also have to start stocking up for Christmas but I can chill on that for a bit.
I have some gemstones I’ve been eagerly waiting on and they’ve been stuck in customs for a few days now. Why is it that the one thing you really want always takes forever to get to you? I’m going out of my mind. I’m so excited about the new stuff I have in mind. It’s taking my jewelry to the next level. And I want to get starting RIGHT NOW. And I can’t. Argh!!! Did I tell y’all I have no patience?
Well not being American or having been in the U.S. when 9/11 happened I really don’t have much to say about it. I remember the day of course. I don’t think I understood the significance of what was actually happening at the time. I do remember thinking that it was odd that this vision I’d had many years ago had come to pass. It had been a thought based on the fact that America, a country so used to fighting wars, had not in modern history fought one on their own land. In my minds eye I saw an attack, happening in New York, and seeing skyscrapers fall. I don’t think it was a premonition but it was surprising to see it come to pass. It’s a day I know many Americans get really emotional about.
A lot of times people looking at my work will remark on how much patience I must have to make my pieces. For the record I would like to state publicly that I am probably the least patient person on the planet. I mean that seriously I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with less patience than me. However when it comes to my work I think I always have in mind the vision of the end product, so the work I put in, as labour-intensive as some of it can be, is to me just the process I have to go through to bring my vision to life. I am extremely meticulous and detail-oriented and somewhat of a perfectionist, so the time I spend finishing and refinishing my pieces brings me a great deal of satisfaction. It has to look as close to the perfect as I can get it. Seeing something you dreamt up come to life in front of you using your own two hands? It’s like being an alchemist or a sorcerer. There’s something really magical about the process. I usually lose interest in a piece once it’s completed. I think the real reason why I do this is because I enjoy the challenge of actually producing the piece more than the piece itself.
soulsistrin 