tyronehunnibis:

2017 has put “not all men” to rest.

quiyst:

shellshokt:

outtawine:

Unpopular opinion

Let me preface this by saying I’m a survivor (as most of us are). I’ve been molested, raped, sexually harassed and intimidated my entire life beginning at age 3. So I know what it feels like to be taken advantage of and victimized, sometimes in ways you’ve only read about in horror stories.

That being said, I’m curious about something, thought it will stir the shit pot I’m sure.

Louis CK: what exactly is it he should have said?

Granted, he never should have done the things he did in the first place. He stated in his memo that at the time he thought it was consensual, but realizes it was not due the imbalance of power involved. To me, as a survivor, he said and did everything correctly: he owned what he did, he apologized, he acknowledged the pain he’s caused, and he’s vowed to learn from his mistakes and do what he can to right it.

Does it fix things? No. He acknowledges that, too. Does it make him less of a predator? No.

The amount of people downright outraged by his response is honestly shocking to me. As a survivor, had one of my multiple abusers give me anything close to this, it would have at least helped, though not fixed or erased anything.

So tell me, oh experts of Tumblr, dear valiant keyboard warriors: what should he have said, what COULD he have said, that would have been acceptable?

The mob mentality is out of control. Short of him chopping off his penis a la Bobbit, I don’t think anyone would be happy.

You can say “well he shouldn’t have done it in the first place.” You’re right, he shouldn’t have.

You can say “well he should have come forward sooner.” Perhaps, but he states that at the time he thought it was consensual; why would anyone confess to a crime they didn’t realize they had committed?

Don’t get me wrong. I was a fan of his, and this situation bothers and triggers me.

My only point is this: don’t let anger and mob mentality get so in the way of your thinking that it clouds everything you observe. Put down your pitchforks for a moment and think.

Just my thoughts.

Well said.

I’ll give the man this…he’s about the first one of these motherfuckers to be named who owned-up to it immediately. Didn’t try to dodge it for a second. Every one of the others denied, launched counter accusations, or tried to obfuscate what they did.

I’m not even a fan of his—I’m only tangentially aware of him—but he at least had the decency to say, “Yup. They’re absolutely right. I was a terrible human.”

You KNOW that Uber-Christian Judge Roy Moore touched all over that kid and couldn’t wait to do more, but you’ll hear nothing but denials from the “Ten Commandments” dickhead. Sociopathic X-tians are the scourge of America.

Well first of all he didn’t say that he thought it was consensual. He said he thought it was ok if he asked first. Which is not the same as someone saying yes. They responded to his statement and said that they never consented.

Second, he does not once in that statement apologize. He speaks several times about how much his victims admired him (he states it over and over again how much he is admired in his field) and this put him in a position of power. He said he did it. He said he has learnt his actions negatively impacted other people, and he said he learnt from it. He does not say he is sorry for what he did.

In a statement of apology one should actually apologize.

wentdogisbackmotherfuckers:

meganomalous:

Louis C.K. Statement (Translated)

Read the rest here.

Outstanding

This is brilliant

Excedrin migraine literally got rid of my migraine in five minutes. Miracle.

Also why have I been suffering all week instead of getting meds?

Steups

They’re cooking fish and making the sauce with a ketchup base. That is SUCH a West Indian thing to do. Caribbean people love ketchup. It’s so gross.

I’ve been watching The Big Family Cooking Showdown on Netflix. I love it. But I just realised they always pit a white English family against an “ethnic” English family… of either Middle Eastern, Caribbean, Indian extraction and so on. I wonder if it’s to contrast the types of food? Anyway it’s cool that it hilights how multicultural Britain is. I mean colonialism yeah but I find British shows in general are much more racially inclusive than American ones.

So… the Tumblr app on my iPad just stopped working. It won’t load any new posts.

So I tried accessing the site on three different browsers. Two opened Facebook instead and the third wouldn’t load.

Wtf yo.

circumstances under which it is acceptable to whip out your dick:

1) Your doctor wishes to examine it.

2) You are in a bathroom and have to pee.

3) You are in a sexual situation with other consenting adults*

*If you do not know if they are consenting, ask and wait for an enthusiastic yes!

That’s kind of it. Basic. Kids know this.

divinedorothy:

how many men who say they’re in the friendzone are actually in the “I was just nice to him because I felt bad for him but now he’s getting all clingy and manipulative to the point that he is making me regret basic human kindness which I feel really guilty about but I just want to be free from this nightmare” zone

onlinecounsellingcollege:

Remember that while it may seem as if these suicidal thoughts and feelings will never end, this is never a permanent condition. You WILL feel better again.

Things to do

• Talk with someone every day. Though you feel like withdrawing, ask friends to spend time with you, or call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.

• Make a safety plan that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.

• Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a regular routine, even when your feelings seem out of control.

• Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes a day.

• Exercise To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. But you can start small. Three 10-minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on mood.

• Make time for things that bring you joy. Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.

• Remember your personal goals. Write them down.

Things to avoid:

• Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse.

• Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase depression, hamper your problem-solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.

• Doing things that make you feel worse. Listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, or reading old letters can all increase negative feelings.

• Thinking about suicide and other negative thoughts. Try not to become preoccupied with suicidal thoughts as this can make them even stronger. Don’t think and rethink negative thoughts. Find a distraction.

Source: ‘©Helpguide.org. All rights reserved. Helpguide.org is an ad-free non-profit resource for supporting better mental health and lifestyle choices for adults and children.’

I saw a woman in the grocery yesterday who had scarification marks on her face. She was dressed, for want of a better term, in African clothing. I tried hard not to stare but I’d never seen those kinds of marks in person, so I found myself hovering around her in the laundry aisle stealing glances. She reminded me of Tashi in The Color Purple.

Then I went outside and as I was packing up the car I heard an alarm that kept going off. I glanced up and saw an older white woman in an SUV looking panicked while the young black bagger tried to help her deactivate the alarm. It reminded me of that scene in the movie where the mayor’s wife can’t get the clutch in gear and all of Sophia’s male relatives try to help and she freaks out from being surrounded by all these Black men hanging onto her car for dear life. It made me chuckle as I drive off.

So maybe it’s time to watch one of my favourite movies again.

stuff

My migraine finally eased up about half an hour ago. Great timing. That was the whole day gone.

I’m working on setting up a sort of newsletter via a wordpress blog for my business. It’s kind of difficult on an iPad. Can’t wait to get my new laptop charger. I feel like a piece of me is missing.

Hopefully I’ll be back in the studio tomorrow. I have some gemstone and silver jewelry I want to work on.

A bunch of my jewelry will be on its way tomorrow to Jamaica for a huge fashion and accessories event they have every year. I’m hoping I get good sales and also that I can make some wholesale contacts. I need to expand.

skunkeyemcghee:

the-frustrationist:

squided:

gossipseer:

geekishchic:

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

This is an absolute tumblr relic. I feel like an archaeologist right now. This is incredible that this is on my dash.

this is from an era long passed

I’ve used this. An observer to the interaction asked me why I mentioned shoelaces. I did not respond.

Kids these days. I️ STILL do this and those in my age group GET IT. I’ve taught my kids. (They don’t know mine and I️ don’t know theirs).

It’s Vegas rules in here. What ever happens here, stays here. Always use protection. If we bump into each other, we don’t know each other and we forget we ever saw each other.

moon-boob:

fecundism:

prissygrrrl:

fecundism:

fecundism:

ive been reading a book that basically explains how so-called “brain differences” between the genders is the result of gendered socialization and not the cause of it. i honestly expected the book to be very cis-centric but its actually the opposite, the author stresses that testimony from trans ppl is actually indispensable because we’ve, in a sense, “lived both experiences”

more cis feminists should have this mindset

one of the first examples that she uses to introduce her point about how perception by others can shape a person’s performance actually uses a trans woman. it explains that as a certain trans woman became to be seen as a woman more and more frequently, the ppl arond her eventually started viewing her as being ill equipped for tasks that they did not bother her about pre-transition. eventually she even found herself underperforming in these tasks herself.

whats the name of the book

Delusions of Gender by Cordelia Fine

Here’s a pdf, babes ❤

profeminist:

daniellemertina:

I’ve always found it odd that men like sex but not unapologetically sexual women.

And oftentimes they prefer to find a woman who isn’t into casual sex and coerce/ manipulate her into it by pretending to be emotionally invested than finding a woman who wants casual sex from the go. Because that woman is a “ho.”

hippieninjahoneybadger:

First job

I still have mine

I really shouldn’t be watching cooking shows when I haven’t had dinner.

I want to eat everything right now.

My laptop charger chord decided it was time to retire so until my new chord arrives I’ll be reply the old fashioned way on my phone with a picture of your comment and oh my god just fucking thinking about this is so tedious why is this app so stone age get it together already

It seems to me that the issue isn’t guns but violence. There are other countries in the world that are liberal about guns. But these things don’t happen. Something is wrong with a society where men walk into churches, concerts and theaters and massacre masses of people. Something is very wrong.

I’m fully awake now st 12:30 feeling for that leftover sushi laying over there. Also I have homemade pizza in the fridge so yay for options.

When I went to pick up my sushi today I ended up in a conversation with the restaurant host about eyeliner and introduced him to the concept of gel eyeliner and found out we both love kajal so that was fun.

The market went well and was exhausting which is why I went to sleep at 7 and am now wide awake.

I have cheesecake in the fridge (bonus!) can you tell I woke up hungry?

onlinecounsellingcollege:

In general, highly sensitive people tend:

1. To be more sensitive to sights, smells, sounds, tastes and smells

2. To be philosophical and more in touch with their spirituality

3. To feel highly uncomfortable when being observed (e.g. by a teacher, a boss, during recitals and performances etc.)

4. To have vivid dreams which they remember in great detail

5. To have a deep appreciation for beauty, art and nature

6. To be good readers of others, and of non-verbal cues

7. To experience very powerful and intense emotions

8. To find it difficult to rebound from strong feelings and emotions

9. To be highly empathic and sensitive to others’ feelings

10. To be hard on themselves, and unforgiving of mistakes.

A while ago I realised that the medication my dermatologist (my dermatologist… I only saw her once) prescribed me was no longer working for what she had diagnosed as mild adult acne.

I decided to go to the drugstore to find a face wash that was designed for problem skin seeing as my Cetaphil was running out. The only thing I found was something I’d never heard of. A brand called Sebamed. I bought the foaming face wash and moisturizing gel and figured I’d give it a go.

Well two weeks on I can say that it is definitely working. It has significantly cleared up my complexion and my skin is glowing and soft in a way it hasn’t been in years. I feel much more comfortable leaving the house without any makeup on now. 

Initially it was very drying so I made sure to exfoliate every few days. After the initial flaky dry skin stage passed (most acne meds do this) I saw a marked improvement. My skin is smooth, less oily and my pores are almost invisible. The product is apparently German and available on Amazon. I’m super stoked to have found something that’s actually working for me. So I just thought I’d share.

I went to the pharmacy to get bread and something for my migraine and got distracted by the starbucks frappuccino and convinced myself somehow that the caffeine would work for my headache. And forgot to buy any pills. 

Sometimes I really wonder about myself…

asbesitos:

pietriarchy:

after hollywood is cleansed all that will be left is just keanu reeves and steve buscemi probably 

good

Tomorrow is our biggest market of the year. Last year was my first time and I think I was a lot more relaxed about it because I had no idea how massive the attendance would be. This year I’m prepared but super stressed, have a migraine, and feel exhausted. I will be very glad when it is over. I’ll also be very glad to see the mega increase in my bank account.

lahvn:

Is it just me or was this year like … Really fucking overwhelming? Like everything’s that’s happened to you this year has shaped you into a completely different person that you were at the beginning of this year

breatherunlive reblogged your post and added: “breatherunlive replied to your post:
…”

I think it depends on your perspective. While we…

Oh thanks for the visuals! The important thing is that you have options. And you can drive off. We can’t do that lol. We can’t even drive to the other island that makes up our country. And plus you’re right next to a large land mass. I’d take Long Island over Trinidad still.