I am so tired. I did not sleep well last night. I have another market in the morning. Despite having a relatively easy week I am suffering from fatigue. I just have two more weeks (and three markets after tomorrow) to go before I’ll be done for the season. I’m sure I’m just feeling really tired about everything because of how badly I slept and once I get some rest I’ll be alright. But I have to say once Christmas is over I’ll be really happy to take a break from work and just relax for a few weeks. With my fat bank account. 

I finished all my work super early today and I ended up just mentally confused not having a bunch of things to do. What like I don’t know what to do with free time now or something? 

I’d reposted an article a while back that basically said to give homeless people money if they asked for it. Don’t buy them food, it’s condescending, they know what they need. And if they’re gonna use it for drugs that’s their business. And it made a lot of sense the way it was all presented. And I agreed. In theory.

And then I was at the drive through ATM by my bank the other day and the usual guy was there and I could not bring myself to do it. Part of it is that I feel vulnerable because I’m pretty sure this guy is also mentally ill and he scares me. But if he were an obvious addict, I could not see myself giving him money. And it’s something that I’ve struggled with for a long time.

I’ve had friends who have ended up sleeping on the streets due to addiction. And yes they have hit me up for money, even tried to con me into giving them money. And I always refused them. I was not going to give someone money to use the drugs that landed them on the street in the first place. 

Aside from that, it pissed me off seeing them like that. Both of these guys were really talented people. And every time they cleaned themselves up opportunities just landed in their laps to improve their lives exponentially. And each time they would fuck it up by choosing to use drugs again. And I can’t fault you for having a disease, but I can fault you for choosing to use. And it would really make me mad to see them back there again. And I refused to throw away my hard earned money on them knowing they were just going to smoke it in a crack pipe. I couldn’t and wouldn’t contribute to that. 

And the thing is I’ve never asked when they were clean but I’d like to know… would they tell me that I should give them money when they’re in that state? Or would they tell me that I did the right thing by refusing them? Because I have a lot of empathy for someone who ends up on the street due to whatever reasons, but when it’s someone you know, and the cause is addiction, it’s not so easy to just hand over the money.

We volunteer with this program sometimes, where we help cook and deliver meals to the homeless. And I guess I feel safe doing that. Rather than giving people money. And I know its not my place to judge what they do with it, but I can’t seem to do it. And so even though I agree in theory with what the article said, in practice, I still feel like I’d rather give anything but that. Even if that’s what they need sometimes. And I never stop feeling conflicted about it.

hthrloo:

stilljewels:

jenroses:

buttastic:

buttastic:

how many other elementary schools had compulsory square dancing lessons

why the hell is this so universal

allemande left.. no the other left… 

*headdesk*

I had to do it in school, but by they also taught us other styles of dancing, including swing dancing, which I found really fun.

OMG AND WALTZING TOO

I had to do this and I was living in fucking Venezuela

Just had to stop the neighbour’s cat from bringing a dead mouse into my living room. As she saw I was closing the door she speeded up trying to get in. Shudder to think why would have happened had I not caught her.

Am feeling super grateful to past me that bought that Dairy Queen ice cream brownie thing that I’m about to eat now. Thanks past Natasha!

There comes a point every month where I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t even recognize my own face. It’s amazing what water weight and bloating can do to your face and body. One day I wake up and I’m fat and distorted. A few days later I’ll wake up looking (comparably) slim and attractive again. The only thing that makes it bearable is knowing the ugly phase is temporary. But it makes me want to hide from the public in the meantime. I’m sure nobody even really notices. But I see it. And it really makes a difference in how I feel about myself.

Market Stuff

-I didn’t make a single sale today until about noon. The market starts at 9, I usually get there around 7-ish to set up. I can’t tell y’all how anxiety inducing it is to wait hours for your first sale. It’s fine once you get one but until then… Omg.

-I go through this at every market. Most of us do. It sucks.

– At some point people just began to BUY. Not just from me, from everyone.

– Someone needs to do a study on the patterns of people purchasing. Cause there are definite patterns. Humans are so weird.

– My orchid petal earrings are once again selling like mad. They’re outselling everything else I make. I’m almost out.

– I happened into a store today that was selling sunflowers. I’ve never seen them selling here. I bought a bunch and they’re brightening up my living room. I am going to make some lovely jewelry from them. But I’m gonna enjoy them first.

well ok then. i never had anyone ask me if they could buy one earring before…

We have a cocktail party to go to this evening and my level of wanting to get off my bed and get dressed and go anywhere is at negative zero.

Courtship? All these men are married who the fuck they courting?

I’m feeling crappy and low energy today and I don’t want to do any work. But I have orders to fill. Bleh. Fucking hormones man.

I started making my own facial scrub recently after the one I had ran out. I used sea salt, as the minerals are supposed to be good for your skin, olive oil, and some rose essential oil (just cause I love how it smells). 

I found my first batch to be a little rough on the skin, so for my second batch I ground down the salt a little finer in a mortar and pestle. Overall it does a fantastic job of exfoliating. The first time I used it I felt like I had a film of grease on my face (while it was still wet) and soaped it off. The second time I left it and once my face was dry it felt really soft and moisturized, yay olive oil. For this second batch I also added some lavender essential oil as it is supposed to be very good for the skin. So is tea tree but I really don’t like the smell so I’m leaving that out. But I don’t think I’ll be going back to store-bought exfoliators again ever. Aside from being way cheaper, there’s something really gratifying about using your own homemade products. 

spockisgaypassiton:

to anyone having a bad day im so sorry also here are some pictures of baby elephants 

feel better friend

foodffs:

Baked French Toast Sticks (Freezer-Friendly)

hazelnut-cocoa mascarpone stuffed french toast sandwiches

Pumpkin French Toast

Peanut Butter Banana French Toast Roll Ups Recipe

PUMPKIN FRENCH TOAST STICKS

Coconut French Toast with Coconut Syrup

DONUT FRENCH TOAST RECIPE

Cannoli French Toast Rollups

ICE CREAM SOAKED FRENCH TOAST

lemon blueberry french toast

---

More recipes here

Follow for recipes

Get your FoodFfs stuff here

I just bought two baklava at the bagelry down the street. When I opened my box I saw I had someone else’s two chocolate eclairs instead. 

Oh well, I hope they like baklava.

DHL just called me from the US. Said the information I was given was wrong (no shit).

Kinda late for that now innit

shipping woes

I ordered some pendants online recently and paid DHL shipping to get them in time for the Christmas season. They got to my skybox (freight forwarder) in Miami and then ended up going back to customs in Cincinnati before it could be delivered.

I emailed DHL online, the seller and called DHL Trinidad. Basically I was told customs recalled the package to examine it again. DHL Trinidad told me that usually when this happens they keep it. And that I can ask for a refund for the seller. DHL US told me the package was being returned to the shipper. Either way they both basically told me I wasn’t getting the package. So I went ahead and reordered and had it sent directly to Trinindad. I was of course very upset but there was little I could do.

Today I saw my package was delivered to Miami and will be on its way to Trinidad in a few days.

What the fuck.

I mean I’m glad I’m getting it after all, but I already ordered a replacement and I don’t know if it’s too late to cancel now and I definitely did not need this set of pendants times two. And even if I did I didn’t need to pay the extra $$$ for the shipping. I guess the only thing I’ve really learnt from this debacle is not to trust anything that DHL tells me about how customs operates in the US.

you know when you want to write about something intelligently but your brain is like nah we closed for the night

pathfind:

i thought you guys would find this thread i wrote interesting

My orchid petal earrings were a huge hit today. I sold out all the ones I had. 

somethingwildalwaysgrows:

johnnaholmgren:

1. I’m grateful for you.
2. You make me proud.
3. Your words are meaningful.
4. You have great ideas.
5. I love being your parent.
6. You don’t have to be perfect to be great.
7. Your opinions matter.
8. You are important.
9. You are loved.
10. I believe you.
11. I believe in you.
12. This family wouldn’t be the same without you.
13. You are valuable.
14. You can say no.
15. You can say yes.
16. I know you did your best.
17. You were right.
18. I accept who you are.
19. We can try your way.
20. You are helpful.
21. You are worth it.
22. You make me happy.
23. I love your creativity.
24. Being around you is fun.
25. I can’t wait to hear about it.
26. Don’t be afraid to be you.
27. You’re making a difference.
28. I’m excited to spend time with you.
29. You are interesting.
30. I love seeing the world your way.
31. It’s good to be curious.
32. I love the way you tell stories.
33. What you did was awesome.
34. I admire you.
35. That’s a great question.
36. Your friends are lucky to have you.
37. I trust you.
38. That was a really good choice.
39. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
40. Being your parent is my favorite job.
41. I learn new things from you every day.
42. You make me better.
43. You are a good boy/girl.
44. Thank you for being you.
45. I’m so glad you’re here.
46. You look great.
47. I understand you.
48. Watching you grow up is the best.
49. That was really brave.
50. I forgive you.
51. I appreciate you.
52. We all make mistakes.
53. Yes, me too.
54. You are very good at that!
55. You can try again tomorrow.
56. Nobody is perfect.
57. I love how you said that.
58. Not everyone will like you, and that’s OK.
59. You did that so well.
60. I’m listening.
61. That’s a very fair point.
62. You are beautiful inside and out.
63. I love you.
64. I could never stop loving you.
65. You are enough.
66. You make my heart full.

Written and inspired by Alessia Santoro 

67. I’m your biggest fan

I’ve been saying that to my kids since they were in diapers. There was some requisite eye-rolling when I’d say it during adolescence. But the other night at dinner, my 23 year old said that one of the tattoos he’s planning on getting is an oscillating fan on his back in honor of “mom’s favorite thing to say to us.”

I didn’t grow up hearing a single one of these things. I pretty much only ever heard the opposite. No wonder I always feel like such a fuck up. West Indian parenting FTW

I just came home from UpMarket and the first thing I did was take a shower because it was mad hot today and now I’m sitting here in my towel and I can’t seem to get up to put any clothes on I’m so tired.

bleh

I wanted to do some me silversmithing work today but a transformer blew and I’ve been without power for the past two hours. It will be too hot to work without air conditioning

I passed the time watching some stuff on my laptop but the power is now at 30% and I figured it was best to leave it be.

I’m going crazy trying to figure out what to do with myself. I’m gonna go down to the pharmacy to get some stuff and occupy my time.

Also someone just ordered a ring from me and messaged me to let me know it was for an engagement and I feel so honoured. Wish I could work on it though.

I was watching that new Netflix western Godless (I really like it) and they mentioned buffalo soldiers. I’d heard of them but never knew much about them so I decided to look them up. Here’s what I learned:

• Buffalo soldiers were all-Black regiments established during peacetime after the Civil War in 1866. They were members of the 9th and 10th Calvary and the 24th and 25th Infantry.
• Among their first leaders was a man named Henry O. Flipper, born enslaved, who was the first Black graduate at West Point in 1877. A bust of him stands there today.
• The origin of the name Buffalo Soldier is unclear but there are several stories. One is that they were called buffalo soldiers by the Natives that they were fighting because they had the same curly, kinky hair as the bisons.
• In 1867 Private John Randall of the 10th Calvary held off a band of 70 Cheyenne warriors with only a pistol and 17 rounds of ammunition. When help finally arrived to drive them off, 13 Cheyenne warriors were dead and Randall had sustained a bullet to his shoulder and 11 lance wounds. The word quickly spread about this new type of solider who “had fought like a cornered buffalo; who like a buffalo had suffered wound after wound, yet had not died; and who like a buffalo had a thick and shaggy mane of hair.”
• The last living Buffalo Soldier, Mark Matthews, died in 2005. He was 111 years old. 
• Bob Marley’s song Buffalo Soldier was released posthumously and became one of his biggest hits.
• The chorus from the song was inspired by The Tra La La Song by the Banana Splits. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yqAaejuRn8

Fascinating stuff. I want to learn more. There must be some documentary or something I can find. I’m gonna look it up.

I knew Rutina Wesley was queer. 

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/rutina-wesley-engagement_us_5a14659de4b09650540dbceb?section=us_black-voices

Last night we went back to see Thor Ragnarok cause remember last time the movie got all glitchy and they gave us passes to come back.

So I’m excited for Chris to see the Black Panther preview cause he was getting snacks last time, but the previews were all different. And after a few of them, we’re both confused cause they were all previews for kids movies. 

But finally the movie starts and the credits roll and it’s the wrong studio (Disney) and I’m thinking we went to the wrong screen so I go to pull out my tickets to check and this animated movie Coco starts. Finally someone yells out, “wrong movie!” and it turns out the projector person fucked up. And honestly I was like, does someone just not want us to see this movie?

But they changed it and we watched the movie without a hitch and it was funny and I enjoyed it the end.