When I was fresh out of college I briefly dated a guy who was fun and sweet but got way too serious about me way too fast. I’ll call him M.

After he acted in a manner that I felt was immature and inappropriate in front of my parents I realised he wasn’t right for me, even as a fling. My dog had also loudly voiced her disapproval by puking on him and then pointedly look straight at me. It was all I needed to know, and I broke up with him.

Shortly thereafter I woke up one night and found him standing outside my window calling my name. I was groggy and half asleep but felt my heart leap out of my chest when he asked me if I hadn’t heard him when he came by an hour ago. He had climbed the gate and come on to our property to get to my bedroom at the back of the house. I did not show my fear but simply brushed him off and told him I was sleepy and to leave, which he did. I gave him a stern talking to the next day, however.

Another night I had gone clubbing and stayed talking in the car with a friend’s boyfriend who had dropped me home. A white car sped past us up our dead end street and he commented that this had been the second time he had seen it.  As it passed us on its way back I saw M in the car. Was he following me? Spying on me? Doing random drive by’s outside my house? That really creeped me out but I decided not to say anything to him fearing it make him act worse.

For years when I met knew people that knew him they’d give me that, “Ohhhhh YOU’RE Natasha. Yeah, I’ve head about you,” reaction. I would wonder what the fuck he was telling everyone. To me we had a fling of a few months. To him it sounded like he’d lost the love of his life. I still get some really dirty looks from certain people to this day.

Fast forward many years. He had migrated to Canada, married and divorced, had a kid, and he friended me on Facebook. I figured it was harmless to add him as he was far away Over time we would chat here and there and he seemed a little more balanced, more grown up. He came back to Trinidad a couple of times and we’d meet up with mutual friends and have drinks. 

And then he started up again. He’d invite me over to his place. I’d decline. He’d try to entice me with the promise of sex not realising he was turning me off. I made it clear I just wanted to be friends. Over and over again. He’d make it known to everyone that he was still crazy about me, never once realising that I was responding with stony silence. It came to a head when he told me that he was convinced our story wasn’t over yet. That he KNEW we were going to get back together. I had recently gotten together with Chris, which he knew, but he would not respect my boundaries or that of my new relationship. I had had enough. I read him the riot act. I told him I was fed up, that since he refused to listen to me we could no longer be friends and to leave me alone. And cut him off of all social media.

I haven’t heard from him since. But knowing him, I am sure every time he comes back home he makes sure to let our many mutual friends and acquaintances know what a horrible person I am. I avoid him like the plague. I saw him once in the mall a year ago and ran the other direction. 

Anyway the moral of the story is, I really should have listened to my dog.